Tuesday, May 22, 2018

So, Where On Earth Do I Start?

When life has you in a state of complete disarray, when nothing and I mean nothing is in order, when you're a mess, your homes a mess, your relationships are a mess, your figure is a mess, your children are a mess, and your finances are a mess ... And, we haven't even broached the topic of meals and the extensive work that they take to put on a table (after all what clean dish would you cook with?). Where do you start? If you were to just tackle one area, would not the others worsen? And, our hearts, as broken as they are with disappointment, where do you find the will to begin at all?

It's possible. And, I will help you. I know from so many rounds of re-tidying myself. And, I want you to know it's a journey. It's meant to be. You may master it in one home, and then be moved to another and fall apart again. You may master it and then become so ill, nothing works. You may master it and go through some form of trauma that shatters everything. The key is to learn to pick back up again. We've been there before, and we'll get there again. Learning to manage the trauma is the key lesson. Learning to develop strength in the storm. Learning to trust that One who loves you more than you ever know, IS holding you up right now. There is a reason for everything. Nothing is by chance, and sometimes His masterpiece is so confusing to us. But, you truly look, you will see it's beauty. Each pain, took you to a great beauty. In every loss, you discovered. You learned. You grew. You shaped your identity and became something beautiful. Sometimes it's not your events. It's you. He's changing you into what he wants you to be. He's making you stronger. He's teaching you to love the unlovable. He's teaching you to focus on others more than yourself. He's showing you that you can't do it on your own.  You need Him. He's revealing your weakness and where you need His help. He's reshaping what you've mapped out for yourself and saying, "No. That's no my will for you. I have something better."

The royal wedding has become something of interest this week. And, it truly is lovely. But just think. If you were chosen as a king's bride tomorrow let's say, what would have to change? The process would be trying, exhausting. You would be in the public's eye from that point forward, with everyone looking to find your fault. You couldn't lounge around anymore, or look bad in the public eye. You would have to have children, and the world would watch how you raised them. If he was reigning king, you'd have the stress of the world on your shoulders. And the decisions to be made, now your concern. That's an extreme example. But perhaps, God is preparing you for a child. And if you're far from being in the position of a mother, there may be so much to prepare you. The pain of pregnancy prepares you for sleepless nights, carrying around the extra weight, concern for your child and its health and well being, an acceptance with the fact that you will sometimes not be as beautiful, but that's no longer the chief concern, a willingness to take on the ugliness to love your baby. You learn to be selfless, to care for another, to put your vanity aside, to sacrifice your needs to bless another.

"If" we all did this, if we all cared about others as a mother loves her child, there would be no homeless. There would be no needy untended to. If we loved others as a mother loves her child, teh world would fun in beautiful harmony. There would be no vanity. There would be no pride. We wouldn't step on each other to get 'the biggest toy'. We wouldn't push people aside to get the first bite of ice cream. Like a mother, we would make sure all had some. We would tell each other to be kind. We would love those in need. We would care for others. Our focus would not be on ourselves, our vanity, our needs, but on the needs of everyone that we love, EVERYONE. Every soul on earth was once somebody's darling baby. Every soul on earth was once moulded together in love. The ugliness of life, if merely that of a child acting out and not behaving on a much grander scale of course. We can't be selfish. We can't be like a spoiled child. We must be kind to others. We must love.

So, where do you start? By realizing there is nothing wrong with you. You simply had the wrong focus. I am confident that you have been putting your all into what you thought was best. I know that. And, I love you. Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and believe me when I say, you can do this love. There is no rejection, no failure too great. I can promise you. You are never out of His reach. In fact it is in failure, where you find His love. Rest in it, embrace it. And we will slowly build up your strength to handle exactly what you are meant to handle.

Embrace what you learn in the process. Recognize that every mess you clean, you learn from. Every time you stumble, you grow. It is a course that never ends, a journey that will feed your soul, lessons ever unfolding and quenching your thirst. Let's go through it together, shall we?

I want you to write out each room in your home that you need to work on for today. Plan in 3 hours for meals. Now, I want you to set aside an hour in each room. Jot down today's hours and assign each hour either a room or a meal. Now in 'each' room, I want you to focus on little tasks. The tasks must be simple and not overwhelming. I want you to do one thing. Then, I want you to do another thing. For example, wash one dish. Then, go sweep one tile. Next, go wipe one tiny square of your counter down and polish it. Take one item to a room. Clean one small section of your fridge. The task must be less than a minute. When you have a gigantic mess, and you stop to focus on any area, you will be there all day. The mess is so big, that you will get lost in that one area. At the end of the day, you will be angry for everything else you did not get to.

Same for the yard, especially the yard. Yard work can be so tiring. Pull one weed. Sweep one area of patio. Keep it light and manageable. Don't overwhelm yourself or tire yourself. One weed at a time will clear the garden. There is no race. Only do it well.

With this plan, you will. Follow it daily until everything is in order. It is simple. And, it works. Next hour, move to another room. put one thing away. Vacuum a small area. Dust under one item. SMALL things. One, after another after another. On the meal hours, same thing. Put three ingredients in a bowl, put those ingredients away. Plan out another item you'd like to make. Do the next single step in that recipe. Wash a dish you dirtied. etc. You must take it slow. Any rush, will make things untidy. Any rush will overwhelm you. Any rush will yield bad results. A meal rushed through is never lovely. Grooming rushed through is never pretty. Take your time. It is more important for you to start early and take the time to do something well, than anything. Start making dinner several hours before it needs to be done. Give yourself more time than you need. It's much like leaving early for a trip you're unsure of traffic on. Focus on doing the job well, not quickly. Focus on not getting distracted by one thing that takes all day. If you catch yourself doing something for an extended amount of time, switch it up. Go back to one thing here. One thing there. Lovingly direct yourself. Accept and love your learning process. Like a child learning to walk. There is no shame in the struggle. Learning is always beautiful. Only rebellion is ugly. If you are trying and doing your best, you are beautiful. I'm proud of you.

I will make it my goal to write more frequently. You can do it. I know you can.

Much love~

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