Sunday, January 15, 2017

To Truly Love

I've been receiving so many messages from women in regards to being a 'lady.' It is such a desire amongst us, for obvious reasons. What could be more lovely? Truly? Do not be afraid to be a woman. Being a lady and dressing lovely, does not mean you desire to become a slave to men. In fact, I would earnestly argue the opposite. I do believe that the less a woman wears, the more she is proving herself a slave to men and at the same time, telling them she has no value. When you have the courage to dress lovely, hold yourself high, walk with civility and expect genteel treatment, men will respond in kind. I do believe this. I do not believe all men are awful at all. I believe our 'culture' has created a harsh interaction between the two sexes that has become far too unkind. I was watching a lovely movie today and I do encourage you to watch it if it's still available to watch.

It is such a lovely view of how a man used to see a lady. I do believe that we can return to this. The way men used to see women was so lovely. Another favorite is Kate and Leopold, which I couldn't locate free on You Tube but is free on Netflix if you have the ability to access it.

Just as a lady creates a gentleman, I do believe a gentleman creates a lady, as is evident in both. There is nothing, truly nothing, more beautiful than 'genteel' manners and proper etiquette. There is a kindness and a consideration that is truly lacking in today's society. An ability to see the beauty in others, that I do believe we would benefit from relearning.

I want you to begin to see the potential in men. Note how amazing a man can be that truly loves a woman. When a man is a gentleman, and you are a lady, that is when true love can begin. Inspire him with your ladylike mannerisms, praise him for the ways that he shows a genteel spirit towards you.
Believe in him. Don't be afraid to love. You would miss out on one of the greatest things you will ever know. Refuse to give up on love. Rather, believe in it, and nurture it. Be everything lovely as a woman that you can be. Celebrate everything he is and watch the beauty that love was truly meant to be, unfold. With the right man, it is safe to love. With the right man, it is safe to truly 'be' a lady. Being a lady will not earn you disrespect or slavery, in fact quite to the contrary, it may find you the truest of love and happiness. It is not sensuality, but rather the loveliness of a lady ,that in a man, will inspire never ending love, and a gentleman that will melt your heart as well. Every journey begins with a single step. Be the first to become what is lovely and beautiful, and life will find a way to harmonize with the beauty your create. With your small step, a gentleman can be born. Don't give up on men. Believe in them.  It is not necessary for you to chase him. Inspire him, to seek you. Being feminine is nothing to be ashamed of. Truly, there is nothing more lovely. 

Friday, January 13, 2017

Modern Day Home Economics - Lesson 3 - Beginning To Work On Your Plan and Creating A Schedule

Now, I want you to look at your road map plan. If you haven't made it yet, please do. This step is absolutely essential. Take time to truly think about what you're longing for and what you are longing to change. List EVERYTHING. 

Most of our struggles are merely a matter of lack of training. What was once taught, is no longer being taught. It is truly becoming a lost art. IF something isn't done to re-introduce these skills, we will lose them. 
Charm school was once common.

Etiquette, cooking,

home maintenance,

charm, posture, and budgeting

were skills that were taught.

They are essential skills in life but with all of the new products and inventions, it became assumed that such in depth training is no longer necessary.

However, the failure to teach such skills can be compared to letting people drive cars without traffic laws... the end result is pure chaos.

Homes in disarray, budgets out of control, weight and nutritional deficiencies, struggles with maintaining a home and saving for a future, kids being raised without necessary skills or lessons in getting along in life at all.

There are elite circles that still teach such skills but otherwise it is such a lost enchanting art. It is affecting the health and finances of all. As a lady it is your responsibility to ensure  that everyone is fed healthy meals. You are the caretaker of the home and you oversee the health of everyone that you hold dear. The way the home runs is largely in your hands. Like running an elegant hotel, it is a full time job.. one to take great pride in.

So what is the solution?

Beginning to construct your road map. 

Where is the chaos?

 and how can we create order?

We will work on homemaking and teach you the necessary skills to keep your home lovely, stylish and ready for company. 

We will also work on your appearance, your mannerisms, your figure, your budget and your relations, all areas of being a 'lady.'

Look at every area of your life that you are unhappy with and write it down. Write each dissatisfaction at the top of a piece of notebook paper.

 'resort', your 'lovely castle,' your 'charming cottage.' You decide what you want it to be.

The first stage will involve planning. Just like planning a resort, you will need to decide. What do you want from your home? Will it offer tea time at noon or cookies on the veranda in the evening with white lights and elegant music?

Will there be a reading lobby or an elegant bathroom. Even the smallest of homes can be enchanting inside....just look at the tiny homes that have become so popular as of late.

Even the smallest budgets can make something lovely as you may find in a quaint delicate restaurant or tea room.
Image result for tea room

The secret is not mass funds, it is planning... no longer purchasing on a whim but purchasing with great care according to your plan that you have laid out so carefully. Lets consider your room...the place you have chosen to be the first room that you work on in your home. What are the colors in it now... what would you rather that they be? I want you to start to consider such things. Look up pictures online or in home design magazines.

Related image

What looks do you like for such a room? What color schemes? You will notice that most color schemes in designer rooms consist of only 1-3 colors... a neutral... a bright color and often varied shades of the neutral. Using the color wheel, note the colors on the opposite end of the wheel.

Pairing them with your chosen color and then adding a few accents in shades just a touch lighter or darker will make any room lovely. Make most of the room a light...toned down shade.. and then carefully select your accents in a bright shade on the opposite end of the wheel or next to it on the wheel. Make your accent pieces stand out boldly with delicate designer pieces that are lovely to look at. The key is to limit clutter, and choose everything in the room to match your color scheme. Example: a gold room looks lovely with bright red or lavender. Selecting everything to match that scheme: gold sheets, gold photo frames, varied darker gold accents.... then red flowers, a red decorative piece, a red pillow. You can always throw in varied shades of tan to accent your color scheme as a third color but otherwise, keep most of your room the neutral shade with just a few bright accents.

Make sure every piece is lovely and elegant. Don't buy bulk items at discount. Carefully select each and every item based on style and based on your color scheme. Start looking through photos.. select rooms that you love. start planning your 'room.'
Even modern and less lovely rooms look lovely with the use of neutrals and  a few random items in an 'accent' color.

Makeup works the same way, as does fashion. On your face, your skin tone is your neutral. Then, you want to choose your ONE accent color.

If your accent is your lip color, your eyes need to either match or be neutral. If your accent is your eye color, your lips need to be neutral.

Remember your skin tone is your neutral. You only want one color to  'pop' for the best effect.

Nails, accessories should all either be a neutral or your accent color. Outfits work with this. You need to have a neutral and accent chosen when you dress.

Either your lips or eyes should match your accent color. The rest of you should be neutral for the best effect. Here you see the glasses match the accent color which are at the eyes... lips remain neutral.

Choose to either have lips or eyes match your main outfit color. The other should be nude or neutral. You want ONE color to pop with everything else muted  in most cases for the best effect.

Here, her lips were the accent Her eyes neutral. The outfit continues with the red and neutral theme.

Eyes match... lips are neutral.

lips match. eyes are neutral. No accessories but what will accentuate the accent color,

eyes match lips neutral

Your face, makeup, accessories should all be an accent to your coloring. Make a neutral look with a defined color accent. Everything else should blend. Choose a color that compliments you, and have fun.

Perhaps you use the same purse/handbag daily. This can affect your overall look. I suggest having a white bag, nude bag, and black bag. Same with shoes and gloves/hats, and belts, and coats. Have jewelry that is both gold and silver. Then add colored handbags/jewelry AS you find outfits to match. Otherwise, sticking with your basics will work just lovely. Choose to match your lips, nails, handbag shoes, gloves, coat to your outfit to create a complete perfect look. 

Now to the cleaning schedule. You have seen this week how much can be accomplished in 30 minutes. If you truly set the timer, take a before photo and work with fervor for 30 minutes, you will get much accomplished.

If a job is unpleasant, just put on your gloves, set the timer, and go! Say goodbye to that mess, and make a plan to never have it again.

When that timer goes off at 30 minutes and you take the after photo, you truly see that you can get so much accomplished. Taking the before and after photo is crucial: 1) You will work to ensure that there is an end result and have less dozing off, if you know you have to have an after picture to show afterwards. 2) You won't get distracted as easily if you are timed. 3) Looking back will motivate you when you fall behind again.

So much of housekeeping is about having planned tasks with expected results. If you mindlessly clean, nothing will get done, but if you set a 30 minute task with planned results, THEN you will see results. Housekeeping is about setting a schedule of tasks.. similar to any job.

You will see those working at any restaurant completing their nightly tasks... wiping down tables, scooping butters, and filling salt shakers. They have tasks that must be completed by the next day's business.

What tasks do you need to complete each day to have the dreams you have set forth in your roadmap?

Clothing stores arrange their clothing, and set up displays. Fine hotels, arrange flowers, selecting carefully the entry atmosphere.

What atmosphere do you desire to create? What image do you wish to project? What 'tasks' do you need to complete to get there and keep it there each day?

What atmosphere?

What menu?

Think through it today and make yourself a notebook. On each page at the top, put one of the goals on your roadmap. Paste a few inspirational pictures clipped from printouts or magazines. Then start to write down the goals and the tasks necessary to complete them.
Is there a budget? How much? What will you begin saving to reach it? What ways can you cut costs to get items for a lesser price? Plan it. Start now. We are moving. ;)

Lets pick a few tasks for today, shall we?  Start by tidying the untidy. Ordering the disarray and add in tasks to start 'becoming'.  Look over your lists and your goals. Walk through your house and write down what changes and tasks need to be done to change from what you are, to what you desire.  Using your 30 minute task as an estimate, gauge how many 30 min tasks it would take to clean your entire home and make it lovely. Break your tasks, into 30 minute grouping. I have even broken this down further over time. I've found that I focus best on a task without getting weary at about 10 minutes. The minute you are starting to disdain a task or want to do it poorly, switch tasks. I typically rotate 4-6 an hour. Set your timer. And start one. 10 minutes. Take before and after pictures. Work swiftly, and Go!

 If there is a deadline, total the number you have to complete. In a separate notebook, or date book, start a page for each day of the week. Make a slot for every 30 minutes of the day that you will be awake.

Fill in every slot where you have other commitments or meetings.

Fill in at least 30 minutes each morning for grooming and at least 30 minutes each day for your quiet 'me' time.

Highlight the slots you truly have open. These are you 'open times' You should have enough open slots to create an action plan to reaching the goals that you have set for yourself.   Always spend time each day on daily cleaning. What do you need to do to have your home in lovely shape each day. You should have time set aside to both prepare and prep for meals. You should have time to groom completely. You should have time to exercise. I have found that I can do more in 10 minute groupings so I jot down three tasks to complete each thirty minute block. It works best for me to jot at the top of each page, the things I absolutely want to get done that day. Then each 30 minute block, I schedule out which three I will work on. I do this all day using each thirty minute block crossing of my to dos for the day at the top as they finish.

Looking at your road map and tasks, how much do you want to complete this week? How much do you want to have done in a week? What do you need to do to complete it?
Start jotting your to dos at the top of your pages marked Sunday through Saturday and begin thinking of where you will be working them in. It's best prior to the day as woman to just put what you want done that day at the top. Then as you have hours open, start planning in those tasks one by one and getting them done. 10 minutes and then switch. 10 minutes and then switch. You want to do each task at least once. I don't want you focusing all of your time in one area. You will feel dreadful about yourself. You need to put 10 minutes into each of your to dos that day at least once. Then when you've gone through each, start again until you can mark them all off. Dishes can be done one dish at a time, but I find them quite easy to manage one sink load (10 minutes) at a time. Fill the sink with hot soapy water, load it with dishes, go and do something for ten minutes while they soak, come back and wash them off, repeat.

Mornings go well for me if I groom for 10 minutes, exercise for 10 minutes, start breakfast for 10 minutes, tidy for 10 minutes, then repeat until all are done.

Mid mornings are great for me if I exercise 10 minutes, work on dishes for 10 minutes, start dinner for 10 minutes, clean for 10 minutes, spend time outside for 10 minutes etc.. and repeat.

Look at your road map pages. You have written your goals at the top of each page and the tasks for each goal. Which tasks do you want to do daily? Make them all yellow. Which tasks do you want to do at least once a month? Make them all pink. etc. Plan it out. Find a system that works for you, and begin.

Plan to work at least 10 minutes on each daily task beginning today. Take before and after photos and do this every day. Give yourself one day off a week. Make that day easier. Plan a reward for getting your work done. Make it your goal to finish them by a set date and stick to it. Follow your schedule.  Pick a lovely pen or a pretty book or something to make your schedule fun for you. Emergencies are allowed to take you from your task but anything else, will have to wait. If someone wants you to do something with them, find an open slot in your time book. If a friend wants to have lunch, find an open slot in your book but make sure you 'schedule' your time to do your 10 minute tasks each day. And any time you find yourself sitting idle with nothing to do, pick up that notebook and do a ten minute task. Get yourself used to using that idle time to get things done.

I have known some to literally break their task into one minute segments and that is okay.  Every time you enter that room, clean for a minute. Make a habit of putting a few things away at a time.

If this overwhelmed you at all, please don't let it.
In this course we will be focusing on each area and you will be taking small steps to get there. Be gentle with yourself but firm.. and make sure to follow a definite plan.

so today....
1. start planning your color scheme in your home. Cut photos of rooms you like and start to plan yours in a similar fashion. Pick your 3 key colors in each room. Using the color wheel, and picking from the opposite or the sides next to your neutral, choose your accent color. For fun, if you have time, go buy one lovely item that is in your accent color for that room as a reminder. Have fun with it.

2. Plan your castle. What will it include. What will the atmosphere be like. Start a page not only for each goal, but also each room. What are your thoughts? This is your plan. Build on it.

3. Begin to dress with ONE key color. Make sure it flatters your skin tone. Have either your eyes or lips match that color. Make everything else either neutral or in a shade that matches that color.

3. Find a planner or method of keeping track of your time... 'your schedule'  your 'datebook' and start to break your week into 30 minute segments. Fill in 30 minutes each day for grooming, 30 minutes for personal time and planning and any commitments you already have. Highlight your open time slots with a highlighter. This is where you will complete your 10 minute tasks. Select some time for fun things each day as well. Perhaps to read a novel or take a walk, or watch a movie with your love. You need peaceful time too. Plan it.

In recap

One page for each goal with steps to achieve it underneath and motivational pictures
One page for each room in your home.
One page for each day of your week.
Break each day into 30 minute segments
fill in appointments and time taken as well as must dos.
Highlight on your dream pages and home pages, daily tasks in yellow and weekly in pink, so that you don't forget to prioritize these. Begin to work through your tasks, 10 minutes at a time. Take before and after photos for motivation and work towards the goals you have set for yourself. Plan a morning rotation of 4-5 tasks, a mid day rotation etc.

I usually plan out 4-6 tasks to rotate every couple of hours, reviewing my goals every time I start the next couple hour plan.

As you think of things you like, write them in your notebook or start a  new page for them. Begin to plan.

Have fun with this. We will be diving into fashion, grooming, cooking at more...but learning to plan and manage your time is so key. Developing management skills is what will help you to manage your budget, manage your diet, manage your decor, manage your menu, remember birthdays etc.. your planner is key. Select one and begin to use it today.

I believe in you. Please do contact me with any questions at all and have fun.. This is your castle. your cozy abode. Make it lovely.