Saturday, December 2, 2017

Finding the Loveliness that is Uniquely You

I have gone through so much in my own personal life as of late, that this blog has taken a back seat and I do apologize sincerely. I have been struggling with some recent health issues that have been frightening and trying, and I have found many new struggles in my own home upkeep in the process. When you don't feel well enough to even stand or sit for long, it can be had to get much done.  I do believe my struggles have helped me to really refine my process in a way that will help many of you. I have made it more "possible" no matter your struggle. I have done it around 12-hour work days and in the midst of feeling horrible. I do hope you will enjoy the results. Every curse can be a blessing, if you truly seek to learn from it. I do believe that sincerely.

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I also believe that every illness has a cause. There are things in life that will heal your  body and heal your soul and provide a "life" energy:  loving friends who are kind to you, animals who adore you, things that bring you joy, a genuine feeling of love, people who appreciate you, feeling valued, feeling needed. 

I'm not sure if you've seen this but these images of water that had been frozen.

Note the crystals. When there was loving energy in the room, the water froze into the most beautiful shapes. When there was negativity, it frozen in frightening ways. That energy, that negativity literally was in a sense "killing" the water.  What you are exposed to will either give you life or give you death. What you engage in will either heal you or kill you. You can chose to eat what will hurt you, or eat what will bless you. You can make choices that will destroy you or choices that will bless you. You can choose to surround yourself with people who bless you and people who hurt you. In my own illnesses, there was a cause, one I continue to work through. I remember a quote by Marilyn Monroe one time that stood out so much to me. "When you are famous, people will just walk up to you and say anything to you, as if because you're famous, an insult won't hurt you." 

Words of death are words of death. They will hurt ANYONE. I have at times allowed people in my life to say things that destroyed me at a core level. I believe we all do. That thought would reverberate through my thoughts and hurt me terribly. I spend so much time hearing those negative words in my head and I was not exposing myself to positive thoughts of myself in their place. I do believe that you kill yourself off when you quit believing you're worth living simply by thinking negative thoughts, your body reacts a a cellular level.  It is SO important to think positively of yourself and others, to expose yourself to what brings you joy and uplifts you, to think on things that are positive and give you 'life' energy. The next time you read a terrible tabloid, imagine if those words were posted about you. The next time gossip tears someone down terribly, imagine that such words were said about you. Our words hurt others. If you are not blessing another, you may be hurting them. You are giving them life or death in your interaction. Some people absorb so much negative energy, they cave into it. It is not hard, when you look at it in that context to see why so many celebrities are the most depressed and suicidal people that you will see. I do believe they receive more insults than anyone was created to be able to bear. With me, I'm always so worried about hurting others, to a fault. I was letting it kill me. If people were threatened by me, or I appeared too done up, I would doll down as much as I could to make them comfortable. I wanted so badly for them to see I 'wasn't' vain or conceited that I destroyed myself to make sure I was humble.  It got to the point where I could never dress down enough. Someone was always bothered by something on me. I was always seen as the "priss".  I avoided people. I crawled inside of myself. I  was too afraid of having the next flaw pointed out to the world or another person trying to find as bad of a picture a possible to take of me and show everyone to prove I wasn't as good as 'I thought I was'.  Oddly, I had less self-esteem than anyone.  I went through such an awful 9th grade year. There was a group of girls that just decided I thought I was too perfect. I was just standing in PE one day and a soccer ball hit me so hard. I literally wanted to cry it hurt so badly. The girl kicking it at me said, "Little miss perfect".   Another girl was supposedly wanting to kill me because I had a locker near her boyfriend. I didn't even know this girl. Girls would sit behind me in class and talk about putting gum in my hair so I'd "have to cut it". I would walk down the hall and hear "Prisss" Thank heavens my parents talked to the school about it and it seemed to stop.  Just a few girls but it was so horrible.  And the odd thing was, I wasn't a priss at all  No where near it. Yes I wanted to be pretty. So do all girls. Yes I would try my hardest to do my hair as pretty as I could each day. That's just the joy of being a girl and in the past, this was not something a girl would have been chastised for. 

I remember doing a report on Marilyn and falling in love with who she really was. I dreamed of growing up and being glamorous one day. I think we all do. It's part of being a woman and something we should love to do. Being a woman is lovely. Perhaps it's our society and the lack of fidelity. If a woman looks pretty today or tries to look pretty, perhaps we fear that our man will stray. I don't believe disliking the women who tries to be lovely is the answer. A return to morals certainly is. As long as sex is an easily acquired thing for a man to gain with no commitments, he will cheat even on the most desirable woman with someone undesirable. I don't know a single beautiful Hollywood celebrity that hasn't been cheated on by her man.  It is a cultural problem. Men no longer have to court and marry the woman, so they don't.  Men no longer have to value the 'lady' so they don't.  It was once thought offensive for a man to look at a woman for more than a polite head nod.  Women required respect. Women knew their value. We are the most beautiful creation. There is nothing more lovely. And, in spite of how it may seem, we are all men can think about most of the time. Men have a craving for us that surpasses our ability to comprehend. They put on an act today to avoid commitment or responsibility but the desire is great. They crave us. Unfortunately they crave something they can get in one night. They have learned that they do not have to commit to get this. They have learned they can get it from MANY women. That is like offering you a gourmet dessert table when in the past you would have joyfully selected one item. There IS NO WAY to expect a man to fall in love with and remain in love with you forever if he can get what he craves without doing so. WE crave the marriage and courtship. Men crave what can be achieved in one evening. It is ESSENTIAL to know this. If he gets this without marriage, he will not desire to marry. If he can get it from women anywhere, it is unlikely he will choose to marry anyone, or IF he does it will only be for domestic reasons and he will continue to try to be with as many women as he can 'get' at no cost. The romance of the past was because the culture of the past required a man to marry a woman. A man who slept around outside of marriage was looked down on/ostracized. Women had to be respected adored, courted and he could pursue her hand. He had NO rights to her body outside of marriage and he had to prove honorable to achieve her hand in marriage. Men will appreciate this type of woman more. In fact, this is the type of woman they will fall helplessly in love with. You always value something more when you had to work to earn it. If you are given something for free, you will resent being asked later to pay for it especially if you can get the same item for free elsewhere all around. Unless women as a WHOLE decide to stop letting men take advantage, things will not change.  It becomes a game to a man. Instead of finding a woman to fall in love with, he's out to see how many he can trick into being with him that way.
It is up to us to require more. It is up to us to be proud of our feminine beauty and to realize the treasure that we possess.  Don't throw fine china to a wild crowd. Set a high price and require a responsible buyer.
Don't punish the girls who believe they are worth more. Believe you are worth more as well. Being a woman is lovely. And, at the time when men "were" valuing and loving women, they were lovely. There is nothing wrong with being lovely. Immorality is dreadful and hurts so many, but even the ugly are immoral. Don't blame that on the women who are lovely. 

Hate the sin. Not the woman. What is the true hurt? I believe EVERY woman can and should delight in her own unique beauty. It is the joy of being a woman. There is nothing sinful about being beautiful. There is only sin in misusing such beauty. If delighting in dressing up makes you sin, work on that sin. Enjoy being a woman, but never allow it to make you proud, or sinful. Never use it to lure a man who belongs to another. Never use it to make another feel lesser. In fact, the greatest beauty is in seeing the beauty in others. Decorating and adorning yourself can be delightful. It is like shining a pretty car or decorating a Christmas tree It is enjoying what you have and taking care of it. It should never become an idol nor consume too much of your attention, yet delighting in dressing up is lovely. Pick clothes that you love. Enjoy wearing them. Enjoy being a woman. 

Women in the past were lovely because they were feminine. They had a purity and loveliness about them. They embodied what was delicate, gentle, lovely, pure, and graceful. When you seek to be lovely, focus on being "lovely", not sexual.  Loveliness is breathtaking. Sexuality in any public setting can be offensive. In what ways can you look elegant, delicate, graceful? There is a feminine beauty that you can posses. It is found in being beautiful and lovely and pure. Sin is never lovely. 

In fact, there is a beauty that can 'only' be found in being pure. 

It is very hard to find a lovely image of a woman with any ounce of sultriness or pride. 

Beauty is found in goodness. In refinement.  In purity. 
The surest way to be lovely, is to be good. The surest way to be healthy is to think lovely things. Surround yourself with beauty in your spirit and your life. 
How is is your life? What energy to you send to the world? Is it a selfish energy? Start to consider what you are exposing yourself and others to. The energy you sent to others will hurt you just as badly as energy others send towards you.  Every time you shout at someone, you are hurting your own body and cells. There is destruction occurring on a cellular level.  Every time you think a negative thought, or think a proud thought, you are harming yourself physically, and making yourself less beautiful and lovely as well.

But if you are thinking what is beautiful and lovely, if you are loving others, if you are surrounding yourself with what is beautiful, you will be beautiful as well. Your body will be healthy, your heart will be healthy, your cells will be healthy. You will be healthy.

With my personal situation, I started to withdraw. The criticism from others made me feel ashamed. That attempt to hide myself was killing me. That act of denying myself or critiquing myself even within was making me less healthy as well. Love the body you were given, but never be vain as we all were given lovely bodies that if cared for will always shine. You are no greater than another and were never meant to be. At the same time, no one is better than you. You are beautifully you. Believe this. Love this. Be a joy to others and let them be a joy to you. When you finally realize that there is no one truly superior, you can relax into loving who you and others truly are.

Monday, October 2, 2017

Changing Your Perceptions

I have been so blessed in my life to have lived in many shoes. I have been cherished.  I have been abused. I have known notoriety I have known poverty. I have had many friends and I have been lonely. I've been praised for my successes and looked down on for my failures. It may be surprising to hear that my most treasured memories often were from times when I was looked down on the most. I believe the time I was of the highest quality, the most ambitious, the hardest working, the greatest character was a time no one saw it. I believe we look at others and rate them inaccurately. We put so much emphasis on appearance and in doing so, we miss so much of the beauty of life. Perhaps a person may be pleasant to look at, but that is rarely an indication of a good person. Often it indicates vanity and self-obsession. A person with money is often greedy, abusive or selfish and heartless to others. Often however, the kindest most beautiful soul is the one you may look down on. Likewise, people can do the opposite. They can assume that everyone who looks good is conceited, or every rich person is evil. I have been treated horribly for looking good. I have seen successful, kind, bright people horribly gossiped about for being successful. It is just as equal and cruel of a judgement. Learn to look beyond. Don't rate someone on what you see outright. Often the most evil will make sure to look like the kindest. The manipulator will be the first to compliment you, befriend you or help you. Look at deeds. Does this person gossip? Do they care about others? Do they love? Do they feel or act superior? The person on the street is not lazy. I only pray you never have to learn to survive in such a life. It can be compared to being stranded in the wilderness. Life becomes about finding warmth, bundling in blankets, trying to find a safe place to stay, praying you don't freeze overnight, trying to find a place you are allowed to "be" although insulted and complained about when you are. These people are not lazy. I believe the poor are merely the ones that society hasn't accepted. They are often the ill, unhealthy, unintelligent, confused but kindest people you will ever meet. The most giving, the least judgmental. They accept everyone and look down on no one. They are often simply unable to care for themselves. Something in their life made them unable to. It may be a temporary illness, or it may be a child in an adult body that just needs help. Be kind to the poor. Don't call them names. Don't rush to save a dog while stepping over the poor soul in the street. Poverty is not a crime. A dog is far more able to survive the elements than a human. A clean body is merely one that had soap and a rather silly thing to feel superior for. We are all the same. We are all human. Don't judge. Don't look down on those richer, don't look down on those poorer. Don't look down on those prettier. Don't look down on those uglier. Lose the attitude of being better. You're not. Lose the jealousy that makes you tear down one you fear is better. Quit looking at appearance and learn to love.  It is a waste of a life to pursue superiority when all along you could have known love. It's just such an odd thing we do. Looks are only looks. It is the soul that we must see. Train your eyes to not look badly at others. Work to not feel "better than" anyone especially for anything visual. Learn to love and care about others. Learn to stop saying things about others that are unkind especially in your thoughts. See the best in others. Learn to care. Learn to love.

Much love,

Sunday, October 1, 2017

Do Less to Achieve More

Where do I begin?  I have so much to cover and I'm honestly not quite sure where to start. With many trials of my own over the last few years, I can definitely give you some tips to get started today as well as a promise that the course will resume in the near future Lord willing. One of the themes that is consistent and has proven time and again in my life is that life is truly better with less. 
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The times when all chaos has broken loose in my life has always been when I took on too much:  too many hours, too many possessions, too many commitments, to many bills, to many things to put away, to many tasks on my to do list. Not enough time to sit and even groom.  Too much. 
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I became so overwhelmed recently with personal issues that I would just drive in my car to sit and do nothing. While this was therapeutic and got me away from the chaos for the moment, I would of course return to more chaos when I returned home due to neglect. I have come up with a system that is putting things in order for me even around very long shifts. 
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I literally came to a point where I put the timer away and just did ONE thing at a time. Literally. That may seem silly but if you're in a place of complete overwhelm, it will bring order and for some, this is the way I believe you should start. Anything else will seem like too much and you will quit. Thus I recommend one thing at a time at first as I was driven to a point where this is what I've had to do myself and I have received the greatest results in doing so. 
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Sometimes you are in so much overwhelm that taking on the fridge or taking on a room, or taking on a grooming regimen in the morning is too much. You're not ready. You seriously need some sit and rest time. You have too much on your plate, too much to do, to many things to put away, too many things to keep up with an right now you just want to sit. It's too much. I understand. You may not feel well. This method will work wonders for you. Start small. Avoid more than 5 minutes in one task for now but do allow 5 minutes of rest between rounds. Let's build your energy and let you vent emotionally. 
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     First, find your place of rest for today. What do you most need? A cozy chair with a blanket? Time outside in nature? A room by yourself with no one interrupting?  A good book? Something motivational? What calms you? Set up your quite place for today first. Most disarray is a result of overwhelm. Calming this in your spirit will bring order naturally. If it's endless fights with another you need 5 minutes in your own room of calm where you don't read or reply to them during that time. Put the phone down or use it for something non social. A good movie. Something calming. Stop interacting during that time. 
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     Now think of the three areas you are most stressed about. Is dinner at night a disaster? Are your bills a wreck? Your yard? Your appearance? Pick three. 
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   Now do 1 thing at a time in each. Continue until you're feeling a sense of overwhelm and take 5 in your resting spot. It may seem silly, but for me I put one thing away in my bathroom. Then I put one thing away in my bedroom. I then pulled one weed. I cleaned one tile on my kitchen floor. I cleaned on rack in my refrigerator. I folded on item of clothing. I brushed my teeth or just put lipstick on, or just changed my top. I did the first item on my recipe for dinner. I washed one dish. Etc. Then I rested for 5 minutes and wrote out any feelings of overwhelm and began again.
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I looked up one bills balance and it's due date and wrote it down, picked up another item in my bathroom, another in my bedroom, another kitchen tile, another weed, another bill due date. Once I had my bills all written down, I began my plan. What is my balance was one step. What am I going to pay first and when. When will I give myself grocery/gas money and how much? How much will I save? But only one of those tasks at a time. I cleaned and and put on shoes, I washed a dish. I folded another item of clothing. I did another step on the recipe for dinner. I cleaned another kitchen floor tile. Another rest. One item on the grocery list. Etcetera, Etcetera, Etcetera.
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 You can add 5 jumping jacks, 1 walk around your yard, 5 sit ups, writing down the calories in one thing you ate etc. Whatever you need to work on but only one thing at a time. This may seem silly but it works. Keep calm. Never allow your body to feel overwhelm. Keep it calm, Keep it relaxed. Keep your spirit at peace. 
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No one task is too much and since you will be doing another round usually within 10 minutes, it's not really that silly at all. Soon your house will look spotless. It may be a week. It may be a month but it will be spotless. This will also get you in the habit of keeping it tidy. You don't have to write a long to do list. You don't have to follow a perfect plan. Just look around and start. Do one thing here, one thing there as you see or think about it. If something pops in your head, that's a great next one thing to do. And plan in rest or it will burst to a point of overwhelm and take over an entire day or week by making you ill. You must rest. You must not overwhelm your body or your mind. Keep a sense of peace and calm. One thing our society just doesn't do any more is relax. We have this silly illusion that more is better and all it does is cause chaos. Truly the greatest moments in life are those that are the least stressful and the most serene. Find a way to make your tasks peaceful. Learn to slow down and relax. One thing at a time will clean your home. You  may right a brief list of the areas you'd like to work on but don't overwhelm yourself with it. The key is not to overwhelm yourself or look at anything to overwhelming. Keep it simple. Make it small easy tasks. On task at a time will make dinner. One dish at a time will finish your dishes. Always soak them 20 minutes first. 
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If something is important start it so far in advance you can do this method and not have to over stress. You can do this even very ill. Pulling one weed is therapeutic. It gives you a sense of purpose. You will feel a sense of I can do this. You will slowly pull yourself up again. It can be likened to a leaf pile taking one or two leaves off at a time. It will eventually be in order. Do what you can I suggest just ONE thing at a time. 

Much love

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Tuesday, July 4, 2017

Getting Started With A Routine to Reach Your Goals

It was a stressful day. I had spent two days doing so well, I was getting on top of my home, I was looking better, I felt like my routine was coming together, everything was going so well. I would see it now. I was just days away from a perfect home, a routine I could manage. My job was paying well Everything was there. Then it happened. I was happily following my routine and it happened. First, my love was in a bad mood. I was taken from my routine for hours trying to resolve and ended up giving up in tears. I ran out crying (not in my routine ) and ended up grabbing something to eat somewhere as I had nowhere else to go (not in  my budget/food wasting in fridge). Then, I went to sign in and work and there was chaos and uncertainty there. At the end of the day, I had done nothing but react and recover. My little checklists made that morning were sitting there, and it brought me to tears just looking at them. They were such lovely checklists. It would have been such a great day. I looked at the groceries in the fridge, I'd excitedly purchased to make and walked into a home where my love was in the other room ignoring me, trying not to be so hurt that I ran out again. I walked into the bathroom and realized that I hadn't even begun to groom for the day. I had a hair pointing at me a if to taunt me. I was a mess, and my happy little spirit that had wanted such a wonderful day was in tears inside. 

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At such times, looking at the list can be painful. It is at such times, that we just give up the day. None of our goals seem possible. Our progress from the days before, slowly begins to unravel once again. 

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I have made many to do lists. I have created many routines, but there is a problem with each. If you fall off schedule, you feel as though you failed and you quit. I don't like to do lists because you could end up spending all day on number two and never get to anything else. I don't like long stretches of work with a planned break when you finish, because you will have situations like above and end up breaking your schedule all together. The best way to plan for your day is to be ready for anything but have your goals in mind and ready. You have to be determined to spend time in each, come what may. 

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I think it's best to set a time every two hours where you are going to spend 5-10 minutes planning that time. Based on where you are at, at that moment, what can you get done?

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I like to make a master list of all things I would have in order, IF I was reaching the goals I longed for. Thinking of the kind of home you desire, the kind of image you desire, the kind of food you desire to make, the kind of relationship and social life you long for etc. Keep those in mind and make a list of what you desire to get done this week, month, year. What do you want in a home this year? Are you wanting a new home? Do you want to repair the one you have? Then, you will need to set up a program to save in the meantime. How often will you give to this savings? When will you have enough saved to accomplish that goal? Appearance, do you desire to be thinner? More toned? Take better care of your hair, skin, teeth, nails? Set time to work on those this week, month or day. What will you do? How often? Think of what you're heart is feeling unhappy with the lack of, and work to resolve it. Right now, what is aching within you? What do you long for? What about your life is making you miserable? How will you change that? Plan how you would like to work on it each day, week, month, or year. With thing AS THEY ARE NOW, how will you fit that in your life? Don't want for it to be different to begin. Begin now. Obstacles will always be there. If you let obstacles keep you from beginning, you will let obstacles stop you later as well. Those who succeed are those who refuse to be stopped. 

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Now for the day, I want you to set a sheet you will fill out each day or even better, every couple hours. I have devised the Ten and Two. I have tried all varieties of schedules and so many have been interrupted, but one that seems to work for me is the Ten and Two. I will work ten minutes on the most important to do I have on my master list. Then I will take two minutes to rest, facebook, think, cry, stretch, get sun, etc. Then I will look at my list and begin ten minutes in what I think is next most important. Each ten minutes - re-look at your goals, re-look at  your lists and note what you are neglecting. At the beginning of the each day, circle the things you neglected the day before. Do those things today. No ifs ands or buts about it. 

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Re-write your goal list each week at the beginning off the week. Evaluate what you're not doing each morning. Each hour, focus on what's most important. I found when I'm around others, that I tend to do what they need. At the end of the day, when I'm all alone the things I've neglected are me. My diet, my self care, I'll have a hair on my chin. My eyebrows will be run wild. My needs will have been neglected. Make the 2 minute break at the top of each hour, one you do all alone, away from those who need you. Determine to do one thing YOU need that hour. 

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It is hard being a woman. Everyone needs you. Everyone pressures you to care for them. But we can't completely neglect ourselves. Create a system that works for you but have goals and have a plan. The days I do not follow a plan, I completely forget my goals altogether. I find I am even better with family with a plan. Otherwise, I'm always lost in thought, frustrated, and feeling overwhelmed. It's better to plan before doing. Then you can focus and not be wondering if you've forgotten something or be pulled this way or that. Make a plan. Make decisions. Then set your week, day and month to accomplish them. I believe in you. 

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Much love,


Sunday, July 2, 2017

Let the Lessons Begin. What is a Housewife?

It was shocking to me how much we aren't taught that was always taught in the past. With the growth of pre-made meals and ready made foods, the lessons that had become common in the schools are no longer taught. There used to be courses in Home Economics, not just your basic cooking skills using pre-packaged ingredients, but true courses that went through home management, budgeting, planning for your home, planning for your family, sewing, mending, cooking, and more. I am currently reading a book on home economics written in the 1800s. It is a detailed account of the rewarding and difficult task of managing a home.

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It is not a simple task to effectively manage a home, and it never has been. It is a task that you can take great pride in.
Likewise, lessons in charm, etiquette and purchasing for the home, even on being a wife and mother were taught to women in the past. They weren't naturally born with such knowledge. It was taught to them, with lessons and practice. Think of yourself as a new person on the job. As with any new job, you will struggle at first. You will not understand what to do. You will make mistakes. It is the art of learning any new skill. You learn through practice. You learn a new skill by jumping in and beginning.

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The true change is in women's acceptance of what the job is. Women no longer respect the position and treasure it. They no longer realize that learning these skills will help you to create a lovely home that you will take great pride in and thoroughly enjoy. It will teach you how to manage money, so that you can buy what you need. It will teach you to decorate and care for you home, so that it's a lovely place to be in and entertain.
I have begun to delve into these studies every where I can get my hands on them. I am also using memories from my past, with grandparents and the like to do my best to bring those lessons to you now.

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So what is a housewife? What does that position entail? 

Many look back and think of a time when women were deemed less, mistreated or overworked. 
Is this concept really true? 
Are we truly more respected, more glamorous and adored by men?

Look at these women. They had time to groom, get their hair done, enjoy life, enjoy their homes, relax and more. Today women are frazzled, overworked, tired exhausted, and rarely have time to groom.

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Men in the past held doors, treated women like ladies, were respectful, married and devoted themselves to them and were all around true gentlemen.

In contrast, today men are rude, crude, use speech that should never be used in front of ladies, and have completely abandoned any intention of truly marrying, caring for or being faithful to a woman at all. They certainly never plan to treat her like a lady.

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These women were not treated worse, they were treated better. Men were responsible and treated them as ladies. We need to return to expecting that now.

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 It was far better to have a man join with and share a life with you, with the intention to make a home and raise a family. With two, you can create such a lovely home. There is a compliment between a man and woman, a beautiful compliment that can create so much good. But, there must be respect. A man much respect a woman enough to court and marry her. There is no security in a free sex society. It is not good for children. It is not good for women. It is not good for men. 

We can step back in time. We can return to a time that was lovely and elegant. We can once again return to being 'ladies' and being adored by our 'gentlemen'. These are in our control ladies. We can feel beautiful, loved and at peace. We can feel proud to be women. It's just a matter of stepping back in time. How did they live their lives? How did they learn such charm and home skills? 
I do believe there is a way to going back to being seen as ladies and being treated with care by gentleman. I do believe it will begin with us. We will become lovely enchanting ladies again. We will restore grace and charm to the world.

There are a few steps you can take to begin. Begin to think of your home as a gift, of your body as a gift, of your loved ones as a gift. Care for them deeply. Take the finest care of what you have.

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Along with that, only own what you can care for. Focus on managing your time so that you are scheduling time in for the things that matter. There needs to be time to clean, time to groom, time to plan a healthy meal, time to review what you have in your cupboards and plan your meals wisely. Take the time to review grocer ads and purchase what is on sale.

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Don't neglect yourself or your loved ones. Their care and well being comes first. Begin this week to plan your time in a way that allows you to care for your home, care for your health, care for your family. Focus on cleaning and painting. There is no magic tool that is necessary, that is merely a deception of a consumer economy. It is merely a matter of cleaning. Find a place for everything and if there is none, consider what you must give away.

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Arrange your homes in a way that is pleasing to the eyes and pleasant to sit in. Plan what you buy. Make sure that what you own is what you need. Don't overspend on the inexpensive or neglect what is nice. It is wiser to buy something of higher quality that will last if it is more costly. At the same time, do not spend more if the quality is no different. Do not spend foolishly without research and thought. Think about all needs before you make a careless purchase. Make it your goal to purchase nothing, without thoughtful consideration in advance. What you are tempted to buy may not be what will make a delightful home for you. Plan with that in mind. Buy what will bless you and your home. Your home atmosphere will drastically affect your quality of life. It is wise to invest there first and foremost.

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Think about your needs. What medical needs do you have? What bills are there to pay? What are your goals in a home? Do you desire to upgrade? What will you save and how much to reach that goal? When buying clothes, what is the image you desire? Does this fit that image? Is it something that you will truly wear? Is it something that you need? When purchasing food, consider health? IS it well balanced? Does it have fruits, vegetables, grains, protein, dairy and the known ingredients to provide your body with the nutrients you need?

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I used to think that everything was bad for me. I was wrong. I have studied nutrition. There are things needed in each of those areas. Things that are essential for your health and well being. Do not every feel guilty eating bread or meats or milk or vegetables, of any kind. Starches are good for you. Grains are good for you. Milk is good for you. There is a weight loss you can attain giving up a food-group, but it is often followed by malnutrition and illness in the near future. Weight loss by mal-nourishment is not my recommendation at all. These women ate their milk, bread and veggies. They ate their potatoes. They ate dairy. These foods are healthy for you.  Find the highest quality items possible for the lowest price. Spend less, so that you can buy what you need. Don't spend carelessly.

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Plan out your needs. Plan out your goals. Decide what image you'd like to reflect. Plan your wardrobe. Save for it. Look at each room in your home. How would you like it to look? What would you need to make it the home you desire?

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How can you do the most with what you have? What are your needs? You can decorate your home with  dollar store item, just as easily as you can with a higher priced item. Focus on color, arrangement, style. Then buy the lowest priced item you can find to fit that need.
I love to say, "Is this the highest quality item I can get at the lowest price?" Most items that are most expensive, are truly no better. I had been given a ring in the past. It was lovely, truly. It was not real. It was $600. I looked like it was worth far more. I was tickled with the men of the highest wealth in the town went on and on about my ring. I never told them it wasn't real. I merely smiled. I had to men at the top of skyscrapers inviting me to the top events in a very large city.

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I was invited to Who's Who events. All of this, while wearing clothes from a thrift store, and a ring that was not real. I was especially tickled when a man who was a jeweler looked at it at teasingly said, "I'll see if it's real. No, I'm a jeweler. I know it is real." With a wink, and that was it. No one knew. Don't be fooled into buying what costs more. I have found identical necklaces at Walmart and high end departments stores. Identical. I have seen clothes in thrift stores with price tags that had been over several thousand before being donated. But do you know what? It was merely a price tag. They looked no nicer, and lasted no longer than what I normally wear.

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Shop for fit. Shop for comfort. Shop for the image that you long for. Shop for practicality. Shop for what is feminine and looks put together. Buy what you need. Buy what will make YOU look well. Avoid waste. I would suggest finding undergarments that hold you in well and keep you looking ladylike. Then, find an outfit that is feminine without looking unrefined. You want to appear elegant, not loose. Promote an image that shows you have respect, that you have class. Find a nice slip or girdle that holds you in in a lovely way. Then find a dress that makes you look well. One outfit that looks amazing is all you need to start. Plan it with care. Be selective. Pick an image you'd like to imitate first, then seek it out. Be wise, be frugal.

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I do believe there would be no poverty in the world if none of us took more than we needed. It is our responsibility as citizens to care for our families as well as our nation. Make your community a loving community. Foster kindness. Create charity. Make it a home that is a home to all. Reach out to those in struggle. Be there for those in need.

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What spending can you eliminate to accommodate your goals? What can you give to those in need?  There is enough. It is up to those that have to care for those who don't. We will all at one time be the one in need. Help those in need while you are not. Care for others as you'd like to be cared for if you were in their shoes. Love.

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I'm going to take you on my journey with me. I will shine a light into what I learn each day. I will share what I learn. I will share with you my struggles and my success. I do hope that in watching me, you will learn for yourself as well. I have brainstormed so many different approaches to sharing what I've learned. I'd always fall short. I have learned so much at at times been so amazed with my results. Oddly when I blog, I become often a complete mess. There is no perfection in life. True perfection lies in being an expert in cleaning up messes. The true great housekeepers, are prepared for spills. They plan for them. They are ready for them. The great financial gurus are ready for losses. They plan for them, they are ready for them. The great thin women are prepared for temptations. They plan for them, the are ready for them. Do you catch my theme? Plan for the worst, and you will be ready for the best.  Be the ant, not the grasshopper. Enjoy learning. Enjoy your trials. Each one is making you stronger.

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 I believe that as I share what I learn, that is what will bless. We learn from those we are around. I will share with you what I am learning. I believe you will pick up lessons that will bless you as they have blessed me. 

What I am doing right now, that may bless you as well is making a plan. I have decided that I'd rather have several nicely fitted and tidy complete outfits than many random mismatches. I have decided I want a tidy comforting home, more than I desire wealth. I have decided I want to be healthy, more than I desire to splurge on unhealthy foods. I have goals for a homestead, medical savings, land and more. I am writing them down.

I have also made a list today of the areas I need to work on to get to where I need to be. I have made a loop through each room in my house deciding, "If I were to get this room to how I desire it to look, this is what I need to do." I did that with every room and outside.

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I am then going to go through my cupboard and write down everything I have. Eat food before it spoils. Take those items and plan your menu. Look at weekly ads. Pick foods that you can create meals out of "with" what you already have. What is the least expensive, healthiest meal you can make with what you have?

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I am going to start multiple side blogs. One on finances, one on meal preparation, one on grooming/fashion/sewing, one on home upkeep/gardening/canning, one on decorating, and one on planning. I will post all to this blog with a link to each blog separately. Bookmark those you need. When you are struggling in finances, view the financial blog which will have every financial post laid out for you. If you are struggling with decorating, pull up that blog for ideas. We will work through this together. My studies will be shared by category. We will learn what is being lost. Welcome to your first day on the job. I believe in your success.

Much love always, Veronique

Sunday, January 15, 2017

To Truly Love

I've been receiving so many messages from women in regards to being a 'lady.' It is such a desire amongst us, for obvious reasons. What could be more lovely? Truly? Do not be afraid to be a woman. Being a lady and dressing lovely, does not mean you desire to become a slave to men. In fact, I would earnestly argue the opposite. I do believe that the less a woman wears, the more she is proving herself a slave to men and at the same time, telling them she has no value. When you have the courage to dress lovely, hold yourself high, walk with civility and expect genteel treatment, men will respond in kind. I do believe this. I do not believe all men are awful at all. I believe our 'culture' has created a harsh interaction between the two sexes that has become far too unkind. I was watching a lovely movie today and I do encourage you to watch it if it's still available to watch. The Spirit of Christmas 20016.

It is such a lovely view of how a man used to see a lady. I do believe that we can return to this. The way men used to see women was so lovely. Another favorite is Kate and Leopold, which I couldn't locate free on You Tube but is free on Netflix if you have the ability to access it.

Just as a lady creates a gentleman, I do believe a gentleman creates a lady, as is evident in both. There is nothing, truly nothing, more beautiful than 'genteel' manners and proper etiquette. There is a kindness and a consideration that is truly lacking in today's society. An ability to see the beauty in others, that I do believe we would benefit from relearning.

I want you to begin to see the potential in men. Note how amazing a man can be that truly loves a woman. When a man is a gentleman, and you are a lady, that is when true love can begin. Inspire him with your ladylike mannerisms, praise him for the ways that he shows a genteel spirit towards you.
Believe in him. Don't be afraid to love. You would miss out on one of the greatest things you will ever know. Refuse to give up on love. Rather, believe in it, and nurture it. Be everything lovely as a woman that you can be. Celebrate everything he is and watch the beauty that love was truly meant to be, unfold. With the right man, it is safe to love. With the right man, it is safe to truly 'be' a lady. Being a lady will not earn you disrespect or slavery, in fact quite to the contrary, it may find you the truest of love and happiness. It is not sensuality, but rather the loveliness of a lady ,that in a man, will inspire never ending love, and a gentleman that will melt your heart as well. Every journey begins with a single step. Be the first to become what is lovely and beautiful, and love will find a way to harmonize with the beauty your create. With your small step, a gentleman can be born. Don't give up on men. Believe in them.  It is not necessary for you to chase him. Inspire him, to seek you. Being feminine is nothing to be ashamed of. Truly, there is nothing more lovely.

Love is delicate, like fine china that takes the tenderest of care. But when we rediscover the beauty that can be found in each other, love will burst forth in ways you've never known.