Friday, December 23, 2016

Modern Day Home Economics Lesson Two - "A Lady Creates a Gentleman"

Our society has truly fallen from so much. Most heartache that you are feeling now is a result of this. Every change is tearing men away from the one place designed to bring them the most comfort.

  Deep at the core of it all, we all realize that we are soft sensitive creatures that desire more than anything to fall in love with a man, marry him, make a beautiful home with him, and be loved by him.

Image result for elegant home

We see that ideal and our yearning for it, tears our souls apart. There are so many things that draw men away from their natural desires. One of those being the foolish notion that men weren't created for a relationship or monogamy, and I'm sorry, but that is false. Men crave a relationship every bit as much as women do with men. It takes the desire of both to make and keep a home lovely.

Pornography and even the new trend of men rejecting women altogether does one thing, hurt the woman, the wife. It takes away the ability of her to be the tender, loving, gentle thing she truly is. So let us glimpse back in time, to how it used to be, and how it should be. When a man loves his wife dearly, she is is precious jewel.

He uses his manly strength to proudly care for her and protect her and his children. She, not his Ferrari, is his most precious jewel. He treats her tenderly, supports her, cares for her, provides for her, adores her. She is fragile to him, thus he is not harsh to her.

He treats her with delicate care and protects her from harm. She is the most beautiful, loving endearing thing in the world to him, everything he lives for. She falls lovingly into his arms. She knows she is treasured. She is able to be delicate as he is there to be her shield. She is cared for by him, not hurt by him. She doesn't have to fear abandonment or mistreatment from him, in fact he is so careful not to talk harshly around her at all. He is on his best behavior in her presence. He can't help but be 'genteel' in the presence of such a lovely creature.

While this may seem silly to you now, it IS how it was. No one even thought to think otherwise. Women were seen as delicate, tender creatures and men would go out of their way to hold doors for them, and work to be the best men they could be to support them. It is Christmas time now, watch White Christmas.

You don't even have to go back any farther than that to see what I am talking about. If you go back even farther to their grandmothers, you will truly see it. Let us step back to the 1800's. As a woman, you would awaken and go to your dressing room. There would be a lovely fire rolling, your dress laid out, your fine stockings, your lovely mirror. You feel beautiful and delight in this time each morning. You eagerly pick out each new dress with it's ruffles and sashes.

Perhaps you have an umbrella and lovely hat to match. It is impossible to groom in such lovely attire and feel anything but lovely. And no one objects to your taking this time each morning to delight in dressing lovely. You are a lady. They find it lovely.

 Dressing is about refinement. Your desire is to appear lovely, enchanting, feminine, honorable, regal. You are of high value and the utmost in etiquette. You are valued. Your home is decorated with a lovely enchanting atmosphere.

It is cozy simply to sit in it. You take time to have lovely adornments. You prepare dishes that delight the senses. You adore the warm glow of candlelight and a warm fire. You are a lady.

When men do approach, they rush to pull out your chair, hold your door, honor you. You are talked to with respect and gentleness. Men are truly 'gentle' men. No man would dare be brash, insulting, offensive in your presence. You are, after all, a lady. Men would treasure you and do everything to honor you as a wife. When men saw women as having such value, they didn't lightly consider cheating or mistreating or doing anything to jeopardize their relationship. They had a reason to be men, to groom, to earn, to provide.

They had something to live for and they were proud of their home and family. That was their pride and joy, not merely a car. They were proud to invite others into their homes to see their lovely family. They delighted in it.

  Somehow along the line, culture began to change. All of the things men long for ARE satisfied in women and families as they once were. I was always perplexed when I would watch A Christmas Carol each year with my love. He would tear up in the family scene. When the wife and children with their lovely ringlets would bring out the bird and they'd celebrate with their candlelight feast.

 You could see a deep longing. And I would always be sad that I was not such a lady, as it was my desire too. I went out with my newfound desire to dress as a lady and I found nothing in the store. I had two options, to look like a man and not even appear to desire to be a lady at all, or to dress in a provocative way but even those outfits were still not truly ladylike.

They seemed to advertise certain body parts but not the desired feminine image I craved. Instead it made me feel rather trashy to think of wearing them, yet at the same time, I couldn't bear looking like a man.

I have decided on what I can find that is most feminine in such cases but there is truly nothing out there to buy that is feminine any longer. The same with nightgowns. You can either wear a frumpy pair of pants that is anything but desirable, or something that is so trashy, you can't bear the thought. But it used to be a night GOWN. Something you could fix breakfast in around your children with your night jacket on.

 A lovely gown that was created in a fabric that wouldn't damage while you slept. It wasn't intended to be vulgar. Women in the past prided themselves on not being vulgar. But they adored being fascinating. Women have always adored being fascinating. There is nothing to be ashamed of in desiring to look like a lady. It is something to be so proud of. There is nothing lovelier.

We must break the image that to be a lovely lady is to be a servant of men. I'm sorry but it typically ends up quite the opposite. A lady truly inspires a man to care for her.

As for the outfit dilemma? I am happy to say there are patterns all over the internet for lovely dresses and lovely nightgowns. Patterns from the very time period that you crave to resemble. There are 50's patterns, and patterns that go back to the Victorian era. There are dress patterns that resemble the civil war southern belle. There is an actual girl online who has finally had it and refuses to dress in anything but attire from the 1800s. Her husband does it with her. They have a lovely marriage and are very happy. Learning to sew is liberating. You can dress as you truly desire.

You will find every lovely nightgown in a Doris Day film in a pattern somewhere if you search vintage patterns. Many women are sewing retro outfits. And I will take you though my sewing projects. As you learn to cut and sew, you will find that you are able to dress as you desire.

We don't have to go along with societal trends. We can be ladies again. And I was discussing with my love the other day, if women truly dressed in lovely attire, that reflected truly being a lady, men would respond quite differently. In fact, one day I went out in normal attire. I received the usual hoots and hollers and sarcastic comments and giggles from men.

Then I went out dressed as a lady.

The behavior was altogether different. Doors were held, men were polite. "A lady creates a gentleman," is to a large degree true. You may never change your man, but you can become such a lovely lady that he would feel like an absolute heel to mistreat you.

Most of our societal struggles involve men sinning against and mistreating women. In cheating on them, not providing for them, disrespecting them etc. But I do believe that when a woman becomes regal and lovely and enchanting. When she finds a loveliness in herself and begins to believe she is worth more. When she delights in her home and herself and isn't ashamed to be a woman but finds great delight in being so. When she radiates a certain loveliness that is impossible to ignore, a man will be drawn back to his home and will desire to be a gentleman.

Don't focus on him. Focus on and adore being a woman... as the women in the 50's did. I want you to immerse yourself in the 50's and before. I want you to see how much delight women felt in being women, in selecting beautiful gowns to wear in dressing each day in a lovely way. In making lovely homes that they were proud of. Focus on this. Forget your husbands opinion for now. Your true femininity will come from within.


1. Set aside another 30 minute block to truly make an area of your home lovely, not out of obligation but out of joy. Delight in making it as pretty or lovely as you can possibly make it. Do it to bring yourself joy. Surround yourself with a home that gives you a sense of peace and calm. Consider a fine hotel you've stayed at or a fine restaurant. How can you make your home something that enchants YOU. Do this. for you. Begin today.

2. Watch some old classics, perhaps "White Christmas" or something from the old days. Note how women adored being women, how they dressed in a refined, not vulgar way. How they focused on being delicate and enchanting not easy. What ways would you like to become more feminine. Perhaps shop old dress patterns. If you could wear anything or be like any woman in the past, what would you wear? How can you adapt your wardrobe today to resemble that?

An easy way to achieve elegance is a pair of lovely gloves or an enchanting hat. Perhaps a lovely strand of pearls or an elegant purse that you carry gracefully. Focus less on swinging your hips or sitting in a sultry manner and more on being delicate, composed, walking tall and gracefully and adorning yourself with elegance.

I have posted the movie Sabrina below. Enjoy.

I believe in you,

much love,


1 comment:

  1. Thankyou once again. A wonderful Christmas gift


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