Friday, December 23, 2016

Modern Day Home Economics Lesson Two - "A Lady Creates a Gentleman"










Our society has truly fallen from so much. Most heartache that you are feeling now is a result of this. Every change is tearing men away from the one place designed to bring them the most comfort.

  Deep at the core of it all, we all realize that we are soft sensitive creatures that desire more than anything to fall in love with a man, marry him, make a beautiful home with him, and be loved by him.


Image result for elegant home

We see that ideal and our yearning for it, tears our souls apart. There are so many things that draw men away from their natural desires. One of those being the foolish notion that men weren't created for a relationship or monogamy, and I'm sorry, but that is false. Men crave a relationship every bit as much as women do with men. It takes the desire of both to make and keep a home lovely.

Pornography and even the new trend of men rejecting women altogether does one thing, hurt the woman, the wife. It takes away the ability of her to be the tender, loving, gentle thing she truly is. So let us glimpse back in time, to how it used to be, and how it should be. When a man loves his wife dearly, she is is precious jewel.



He uses his manly strength to proudly care for her and protect her and his children. She, not his Ferrari, is his most precious jewel. He treats her tenderly, supports her, cares for her, provides for her, adores her. She is fragile to him, thus he is not harsh to her.




He treats her with delicate care and protects her from harm. She is the most beautiful, loving endearing thing in the world to him, everything he lives for. She falls lovingly into his arms. She knows she is treasured. She is able to be delicate as he is there to be her shield. She is cared for by him, not hurt by him. She doesn't have to fear abandonment or mistreatment from him, in fact he is so careful not to talk harshly around her at all. He is on his best behavior in her presence. He can't help but be 'genteel' in the presence of such a lovely creature.



While this may seem silly to you now, it IS how it was. No one even thought to think otherwise. Women were seen as delicate, tender creatures and men would go out of their way to hold doors for them, and work to be the best men they could be to support them. It is Christmas time now, watch White Christmas.



You don't even have to go back any farther than that to see what I am talking about. If you go back even farther to their grandmothers, you will truly see it. Let us step back to the 1800's. As a woman, you would awaken and go to your dressing room. There would be a lovely fire rolling, your dress laid out, your fine stockings, your lovely mirror. You feel beautiful and delight in this time each morning. You eagerly pick out each new dress with it's ruffles and sashes.



Perhaps you have an umbrella and lovely hat to match. It is impossible to groom in such lovely attire and feel anything but lovely. And no one objects to your taking this time each morning to delight in dressing lovely. You are a lady. They find it lovely.


 Dressing is about refinement. Your desire is to appear lovely, enchanting, feminine, honorable, regal. You are of high value and the utmost in etiquette. You are valued. Your home is decorated with a lovely enchanting atmosphere.



It is cozy simply to sit in it. You take time to have lovely adornments. You prepare dishes that delight the senses. You adore the warm glow of candlelight and a warm fire. You are a lady.


When men do approach, they rush to pull out your chair, hold your door, honor you. You are talked to with respect and gentleness. Men are truly 'gentle' men. No man would dare be brash, insulting, offensive in your presence. You are, after all, a lady. Men would treasure you and do everything to honor you as a wife. When men saw women as having such value, they didn't lightly consider cheating or mistreating or doing anything to jeopardize their relationship. They had a reason to be men, to groom, to earn, to provide.




They had something to live for and they were proud of their home and family. That was their pride and joy, not merely a car. They were proud to invite others into their homes to see their lovely family. They delighted in it.




  Somehow along the line, culture began to change. All of the things men long for ARE satisfied in women and families as they once were. I was always perplexed when I would watch A Christmas Carol each year with my love. He would tear up in the family scene. When the wife and children with their lovely ringlets would bring out the bird and they'd celebrate with their candlelight feast.




 You could see a deep longing. And I would always be sad that I was not such a lady, as it was my desire too. I went out with my newfound desire to dress as a lady and I found nothing in the store. I had two options, to look like a man and not even appear to desire to be a lady at all, or to dress in a provocative way but even those outfits were still not truly ladylike.




They seemed to advertise certain body parts but not the desired feminine image I craved. Instead it made me feel rather trashy to think of wearing them, yet at the same time, I couldn't bear looking like a man.



I have decided on what I can find that is most feminine in such cases but there is truly nothing out there to buy that is feminine any longer. The same with nightgowns. You can either wear a frumpy pair of pants that is anything but desirable, or something that is so trashy, you can't bear the thought. But it used to be a night GOWN. Something you could fix breakfast in around your children with your night jacket on.


 A lovely gown that was created in a fabric that wouldn't damage while you slept. It wasn't intended to be vulgar. Women in the past prided themselves on not being vulgar. But they adored being fascinating. Women have always adored being fascinating. There is nothing to be ashamed of in desiring to look like a lady. It is something to be so proud of. There is nothing lovelier.



We must break the image that to be a lovely lady is to be a servant of men. I'm sorry but it typically ends up quite the opposite. A lady truly inspires a man to care for her.


As for the outfit dilemma? I am happy to say there are patterns all over the internet for lovely dresses and lovely nightgowns. Patterns from the very time period that you crave to resemble. There are 50's patterns, and patterns that go back to the Victorian era. There are dress patterns that resemble the civil war southern belle. There is an actual girl online who has finally had it and refuses to dress in anything but attire from the 1800s. Her husband does it with her. They have a lovely marriage and are very happy. Learning to sew is liberating. You can dress as you truly desire.





You will find every lovely nightgown in a Doris Day film in a pattern somewhere if you search vintage patterns. Many women are sewing retro outfits. And I will take you though my sewing projects. As you learn to cut and sew, you will find that you are able to dress as you desire.





We don't have to go along with societal trends. We can be ladies again. And I was discussing with my love the other day, if women truly dressed in lovely attire, that reflected truly being a lady, men would respond quite differently. In fact, one day I went out in normal attire. I received the usual hoots and hollers and sarcastic comments and giggles from men.





Then I went out dressed as a lady.


The behavior was altogether different. Doors were held, men were polite. "A lady creates a gentleman," is to a large degree true. You may never change your man, but you can become such a lovely lady that he would feel like an absolute heel to mistreat you.





Most of our societal struggles involve men sinning against and mistreating women. In cheating on them, not providing for them, disrespecting them etc. But I do believe that when a woman becomes regal and lovely and enchanting. When she finds a loveliness in herself and begins to believe she is worth more. When she delights in her home and herself and isn't ashamed to be a woman but finds great delight in being so. When she radiates a certain loveliness that is impossible to ignore, a man will be drawn back to his home and will desire to be a gentleman.


Don't focus on him. Focus on and adore being a woman... as the women in the 50's did. I want you to immerse yourself in the 50's and before. I want you to see how much delight women felt in being women, in selecting beautiful gowns to wear in dressing each day in a lovely way. In making lovely homes that they were proud of. Focus on this. Forget your husbands opinion for now. Your true femininity will come from within.

 

1. Set aside another 30 minute block to truly make an area of your home lovely, not out of obligation but out of joy. Delight in making it as pretty or lovely as you can possibly make it. Do it to bring yourself joy. Surround yourself with a home that gives you a sense of peace and calm. Consider a fine hotel you've stayed at or a fine restaurant. How can you make your home something that enchants YOU. Do this. for you. Begin today.


2. Watch some old classics, perhaps "White Christmas" or something from the old days. Note how women adored being women, how they dressed in a refined, not vulgar way. How they focused on being delicate and enchanting not easy. What ways would you like to become more feminine. Perhaps shop old dress patterns. If you could wear anything or be like any woman in the past, what would you wear? How can you adapt your wardrobe today to resemble that?


An easy way to achieve elegance is a pair of lovely gloves or an enchanting hat. Perhaps a lovely strand of pearls or an elegant purse that you carry gracefully. Focus less on swinging your hips or sitting in a sultry manner and more on being delicate, composed, walking tall and gracefully and adorning yourself with elegance.



I have posted the movie Sabrina below. Enjoy.
 

I believe in you,

much love,

Veronique.





Thursday, December 1, 2016

Modern Day Home Economics - Lesson One


Let Us Begin

 
I am so glad you decided to step on board and reclaim what is rightfully yours as a woman. Lessons in charm, etiquette, cooking, sewing, socializing and more. You will take a step back in time and learn what the glamorous women of old studied and learned so well.
In this course, you will learn everything that makes a woman lovely. You will learn to walk with grace, respond with elegance and leave an air of warmth in your path.





Your home will be a haven, a place of memories.
You will fall in love with your husband and once again feel sparks in his presence. Your home
will be such a close place, you will feel warmth often.
You will die knowing you made a difference in this world.
You will not wonder what it would be like to be elegant or a lovely homemaker.
You won't have any missed chances.





It will take work. The changes will go up and down. You will defeat bad habits and fall back into some for a time...but keep going and you will break free from them all.
I want you to get up each day and start. I want you to keep going and to know that I am here with you to help get you there.




It is not impossible. You are not incapable. I'll even tell you a secret.
Once you start and get past the initial difficulty, it gets easier and easier each day. In fact, it becomes a delight. You will likely cry as you see the changes. You will feel like you've been freed and released from the pain of your struggles.
That is truly where you likely are. In bondage.
Each of our struggles, each of our failures holds us in helplessness until we decide that it's important enough to break free.
At such a time, we will do what is necessary to make the changes.
Nothing worth having comes naturally.
Women of grace practice their skill. The master it.
Models spend hours learning their runway walk.





They work tirelessly on their skin and diet. These things may feel awkward at first if you are not used to working on them...but the results will be fabulous.
At first, anything is exhausting. But before you know it, it's not hard at all, in fact you'll find that leisure has increased. Tidiness brings order. Order brings harmony. Harmony brings joy. Everything we will be covering is a matter of order, of taking care of things well, of treating things delicately, including yourself, your marriage, your goals.





Nice resorts plan their décor and their menu. They master the art of creating the ideal environment.
The struggle as a housewife can come in not getting positive feedback. We are going to fix this. You are going to do things that will give you that feed back. You will be hosting parties. You will be giving gifts. You will be remembering birthdays. You will have friends around you more and more. You will have an image and grace that you feel comfortable with. One full of elegance and charm. 
Your family will grow more and more fond of you. You will be a source of peace and love to them. They will surround you with positive feedback and I will too ;)





When women initially pursued careers, I don't believe they realized what they were leaving behind. The lovely homes, the elegance, the grace, the fashion, the parties, the cooking, and everything that made a housewife. Homes don't just have amazing décor and the smells of amazing food. These skills must be taught. If you are one of the many with no training, I will show you what I've learned. Build on these skills. Don't let us lose the beauty of a lovely home. Master them. Enjoy the beauty that unfolds.





You are about to discover your grace, charm, elegance, social skills and house keeping abilities.





Everything we gave up, is so lovely. I am certain that learning the skills of old will be one of the greatest blessings of your life. We will study fashion.  We will have amazing homes that are cozy and in order. We will cover cooking techniques that will help us to prepare food that could rival any restaurant. We will pull our figures into lovely shape. 
We will help you to feel empowered and free.





To begin, what is your current situation?
I have created a road map document.
This is the most important step I our course. From the lessons I've done, this may take two years. It may take five years. But, if you plan this out well, you will see yourself coming closer and closer to your goal.
1. Take a picture of your home, yourself, your refrigerator contents, your car, your yard, and jot down a brief synopsis of your relationships, routine struggles, financial and social struggles.
I want you to write down what you will be working towards in it's place. Feel free to use this as a guide and create your own road map, perhaps cut pictures of lovely homes with rooms you would like to replicate. Cut a picture of an actress that you would love to dress like, look like. Think of someone who has amazing elegance that you would like to emulate. Perhaps you'd like to throw an amazing Christmas dinner with gourmet recipes. Perhaps you'd just like to have romance again. I heard it said that your spouse has 80% of the thing you crave and is lacking 20%. Sometimes we focus so much on that 20% that we give up and go to find someone who has that 20%. We find that the next person has 80% and I missing 20% as well. We have become a society of spending. We have grown so accustomed to buying what is new, that we don't buy with skill or use with caution. We buy and we waste. We date without even thinking if this is the man we truly love and then we toss the man and destroy him the next day. Your goal in relationships needs to also include how you will bless him. How will you treasure him and love him and make his life happier as well? Often that simple step will move mountains. People will always treasure you, once they know you care.




Fill out your road map  and set aside some time to do this well. Some of you will have homes that resemble the show 'hoarders'. Others may have your home in order and struggle with image. Some are in marriages that are destroying them from within. Understanding where you are, where your areas of struggle are etc, we can get you out of your rut and onto a course that will help you to blossom into the lovely woman you were created to be.



We will one by one pull off your chains and set you free. Before you know it, you will be blossoming with your own feminine beauty and grace.
The movie at the bottom of this post is one of my favorite shows ever. It shows what I see as the clash of the present day and the old days. It was released at the time when society was first starting to rebel against the idea of marriage and a housewife. You can see the tarnishing of values, the loss of virtue, the change in society that has landed us where we are today... but the lovely part is, that it was released in a time where in the end, marriage wins. I think it, so clearly, shows the flaw in how we have changed. Men, as well as women need, and treasure marriage. While love is easier to find, it is so much less fulfilling outside of a true bond. There is beauty in such a partnership. What we have rebelled against, is actually the best thing for us.





The actress is lovely. She is one who truly inspires me in my own journey. Start watching shows that have one of your goals as inspiration. I believe that you need daily inspiration. I adore watching the Dick Van Dyke show as motivation in housekeeping, or Leave it to Beaver for inspiration in keeping my figure and fashion. Watch a movie or find something that inspires you daily....something you'd like to imitate. I have begun to listen to things that inspire me or watch motivational shows in the morning as I get ready. It reminds me of what I want to be as I'm beginning my day and helps to set my day in the right motion.



Image result for dick van dyke show



I begin jotting down to-dos and ideas for the day immediately based on the inspiration. You will become what you take in the most. If you are in a negative atmosphere, you will feel negativity. You will become that negativity. If you are in a situation where you have absolutely nothing feminine to imitate, you won't have the ability.. but if you constantly absorb the image you desire to achieve... through inspiration, pictures, movies etc.. it will become you. You will learn through watching. You will learn through observing.





There is the story of the dog who had a limp. When she had puppies one of them began to walk with a limp as well. The puppy had no issues, it was simply natural to imitate. We all do the same as well. Think of a culture that is different than your own, but notice how all of the people in that culture imitate each other. Imitation is natural.  Your culture will create you. Your accent, mannerisms, surroundings will affect how you become. You will become like that which you are around the most. It's only natural. Before you stereotype anyone, realize that they are a product of their culture but that doesn't mean they couldn't just as easily resemble yours. While you are going to work to create a cover that you desire, never judge a book by it's cover. Be willing to embrace others as your own, love them as you would your neighbor. That will be a step towards grace.



Image result for leave it to beaver barbara



Start watching more shows that exhibit the image you would like to achieve and begin to stop watching those that don't. It takes effort to not 'go with the flow' of those around you. If your dream is to take on a new life or way of being, it will take concentrated effort in absorbing and learning from those that have the life that you crave.




Take in that which you wish to become. I highly recommend movies from the 50's and 60's. You simply won't find the same etiquette and mannerisms in anything that is more recent. Start clubs with other women who long to be housewives. Join vintage clubs online and in person. Think now of friends you may like to start a housekeeping club with or sign into my forums (just being created)

http://1950shousewife.forumotion.com/

to chat with other girls in the course and offer tips and advice.
Image result for leave it to beaver barbara



Think of the image you would like to achieve.  Keep it in front of you. It will rub off on you as you do. You will learn to feel again. Women have shut off emotions in our current culture. We have hardened our hearts and closed off. We have rejected our femininity. We have lost our ability to feel. As you rediscover this lost femininity, you will naturally begin to grow. You will learn how to fall in love again...with your husband and family. Women were blessed with a gift. We have the enchanting ability to make a home, calm a stressed man, soothe a tired child, love so deeply it is never forgotten, and to be the soft gentle whisper in the wind of memories.



Image result for grace kelley



 Assignment #1
1. Watch the movie below for fun if you desire. Start to think of what is inspiration for you. Begin to set aside time each day, preferably in the morning to be influenced by a role model that fits your goals.
2. I want you to close your eyes and imagine the exact home, figure, marriage you would want if you truly believed it was possible. What would your home be like, your figure, your cooking, your romance, your appearance?
Now.. please take the time to make your dream poster. Keep this in a place where you can see it every day. It could be the first page of your notebook, a computer document, or you could even make a calendar with it. Make it something where it's convenient to look at often throughout the day.  Remind yourself what it is you hope to achieve. For a while, it may seem absolutely impossible. but if you do this, it will be come possible more and more each day. But first, you have to decide... what do you wish for?
Now please describe in each category what you will be achieving.
ex... I will be transforming my home from___________ to this.
I will be transforming my figure from _____ to this.
My meals which are now_____ will become _____.
Tell me how your surroundings are now and how they will be once you reach your goals. Then set the date... you hope to reach your goal, and together, we will get there.
Please include, cooking, décor, finances, appearance, grace, sophistication, romance, social interests and family.

Here is a link to the road map for you if you'd like to simply fill this out. Please do post it where you will see it daily.
3. I want you to think of the area in your life you need the most work on.. and spend 30 minutes on it today. Uninterrupted completely focused minutes on that struggle. If you feel dull. I want you to spend 30 minutes grooming. If your house is a disaster, I want you to spend 30 minutes cleaning thoroughly and quickly. 30 minutes and I want you to take a before and after picture. then store that picture in your notebook or file titled "my first 30 minute change". Feel free to post your results to inspire others. This thirty minutes needs to be a full thirty minutes. No distractions. Set aside the time and ONLY do this task until the thirty minutes is up.
Work swiftly as if in a hurry. Enjoy the workout, enjoy the focus, enjoy the change. Set a timer. IF you get interrupted, pause the timer and resume but the goal is truly no distractions. Don't forget the before and after pictures. You will be amazed at how much you got done.
If you are truly desiring to see a change, chat with others in this course. Post your before and after pictures in our forum:

Comment on the changes you are making in your life. Enjoy the support of others. 
I believe in you and truly hope the changes you begin to make today will be the beginning of a life you have always dreamed of.
Welcome.








What amazed you about your 30 minute assignment? What was hardest about your dream? What do you believe is holding you back? What can you do to overcome this obstacle?