Saturday, July 12, 2014

Housewife Courses Resuming


I have had so many lovely messages in my inbox over the last few months and I do have to say that I am so sorry. Truly. What has occurred has convinced me more than ever that everything I've written here is so true. After my love was injured. I remember just watching him. Watching him sleep and feel that fear... that what if? Oh my.. what if? 

I panicked I guess you could say. I started to frantically try to find ways to make money. I began to do what I've preached so often about.. I started to work. Full time. Like many of you. I can say this. Having a perfect home and working full time.. it's really not possible. 
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Something will give. I started to make money. I started to have money for things we didn't usually have.. there was a false sense of security, I suppose you could say. But I mean it when I say "false." I have been sacrificing SO much... to make so little. I have left my blog. I have started to heat up meals instead of prepare them. My kitchen often has dirty dishes and even worse, I am always exhausted. And our love has suffered. He was angry this week. He lost his temper. I could see the pain in his anger. The sadness. He has looked at me several times and start to tear up. He misses me at home. He misses me you guys. Why are we doing this?

Last week I worked several 12 hour days and I was too sick to enjoy the fourth. We had no lovely meals. There is such a great cost to the family when the woman decides to work and her heart is not at peace. I would honestly have to say, I would be happier with nothing. and the time to spend with my family again.
 I miss them. My love is less close. He is very clearly upset that I'm always working. Very upset that when he walks in, instead of a home with fresh baked goods and a happy love, he is finding messes everywhere, an ungroomed me and very rarely food and it is most certainly not because I am lazy. I wake early. I stay up late and I get maybe 4 hours sleep. There is so much to do. Too much to do. And even though I have to ask him to understand for my own health as I am often ill now, I don't believe it's right to ask the man to understand why there is never food and an unkempt home. I don't believe that is entirely right either. We have the ability to be HOME. Why would we complain of that? It is a lovely thing. Being grateful for a man willing to work so we don't have to is a lovely thing. But we've turned on our men. And given up our greatest gift. A home and the ability to be in it. 
I think that it is crazy for women to think they can truly work full time and be happy. I do... because I am not happy. I adored being home full time. Absolutely adored it. All I can think of is getting back to it. We have tied ourselves down to an expected income now. We have grown dependent upon it...but I have found that the more you make, the more you spend... and often it is in recurring debt that has you chained to a job that never makes enough. You have recurring bills and the stress of how to pay them. But honestly, it's so much less stressful to do without the recurring bills. It's really only greed. Most of those things you can do without. and once you decide you want things, you never have enough. Stop the greed before it begins. Choose home instead. Choose home. 
 When you took the job, it was to help your family and now you are hurting your family as you live paycheck to paycheck.. never making enough and letting your home fall apart around you. I have seen MANY stay at home moms that were poor but happy.. and I have yet to see a woman who works who doesn't feel detached from her home. 

I am about to take a risk ladies. I have looked at this home in disarray enough. I can't do it. It is costing too much in what matters.. my home, my love... our health. I am going to cut my hours. I am going to try to find a way to come back to blogging and cutting back my hours. Blogging was so lovely. I was able to make it work. I could work by being at home. It was my tending my home that fed the blog and that is what I need. As soon as I have 30 more in my course. I will start working part time and bring this blog to life again. As soon as I reach 60, I will quit my job. We can live so much more happily on little as a home than we can with my income and no home. 
 In the meantime, Thank you for your patience. Follow my lead. Find a way. I do not believe that at the end of your life, you will feel satisfied with the hours you spent on the phone or at work away from home. If you have  family, you'll never feel peace working so many hours. Once you have a family, home is everything. You miss SO much when you decide to work. So much. So many memories that you can't get back. My heart is aching for my home as it was. He is getting better. But our home is not. We were happy. When we had the least. And that memory keeps us going right now. I want to make it a reality again and I believe you should too. I was trying to make it work "for" my blog. I was going to design a course for full time working women... but that would honestly go against everything the 1950s housewife course is about. If you want to do it, you will have to be home for more than a few hours. Trying to work and keep house is what destroyed everything that. It's a choice. A choice to let some things go so you can focus on what counts. What counts is up to you. 
I wish I could share the beauty of what it was like when we had a 'home'. I wish I could give you one day in that life and show you how happy it was... but that's something you will have to decide to do on your own. If it's right for you, you will know it. I am determined to have one again. I will be back loves. If you are interested in a month of my course, let me know. I will try to get it up and running again this week. It's just been hard around full time hours. I only have a few hours each day at home around my job. To use those to blog, feels wrong. But I ache to blog. I ache to share what I've learned and if it's meant to be, I will have subscribers. I will have 60 more of them. In my course. And then, I will share it with you.Until then,
 Much love dolls.
Veronique

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