Friday, May 16, 2014

Priorities

 
One of the things that has truly hit home for me in the last few months.. is priorities. Life is a constant steam of distractions. Sometimes those we most need to tend to are the ones least appealing. Along with the most recent situation in my own life, I am reminded of a time when I got the most beautiful kitten. She was absolutely a doll. I adored her. I would decorate her in rhinestone shirts and pretty bows and she was tiny, frail, lovable and absolutely perfect.
One day we awoke to find she had been playing and fell into the septic tank. It was cold and she was covered in sewage. I saw her precious paws trying so hard to climb out as she kept sliding back down. She was getting week and my heart was broken. It was cold. So cold and everything we tried failed. But we kept going. We skipped every other event that day and we kept working until we got her out.. covered in sewage as she was and bathed her.
That my dears, is life. It was the same with the recent injury. I actually rather ill when it happened. We had been talking of getting me to a doctor for what we believed was pneumonia. And then it happened. It was a swirl of emotion. One minute he was sitting next to me reading. I was straightening his shirt and telling him how handsome he looked. The next there were people running to my door saying he was hurt. And as I ran out and saw him laying there on the ground, I won't lie. I wanted to die. He was very confused. He kept asking who I was...where he was.. what had happened. They didn't know if he'd survive and waiting to see if he would... I can not even begin to explain the shock of it. One moment he was there, the next, I didn't know.. It was that fast. I will spare photos but pretty much... it was my fiancé under the horse that truly happened in my life. He was kicked in he head and fell backwards.. then the horse landed on top of him. and trampled. He broke 5 ribs, had a severe concussion, and a punctured spleen. It was terrifying.
 
 
 He kept re-asking what date it was. And of course, when we arrived at the hospital, they made me leave the room as he was crying in pain and sent me to my own little waiting room. It was absolutely horrible. I have never hated being alone more. Needless to say I was up all night and working the next day and up all night and working and at that point, I was coughing up blood and in fevers myself. But that is life loves. That is simply life.
I can create a course that makes life seem simple.. or easy. I could plan it as though nothing would ever happen to disrupt your schedule. But if I did, I wouldn't be honest. The truth is that when you decide to take on my course, it will be messy. Much like bathing off my darling that day. I have cleaned many homes.. Sometimes there are maggots. Sometimes there are spiders. Sometimes food that has become who knows what. Some bathrooms are dreadful. See that as a sign that you need to change.. NOT a reason to avoid it. Grab a garbage bag, grab some paper towels and bleach or cleaner and begin. Most is garbage. The rest are dishes that can be scrapped and set into soapy water. With gloves and bleach, it isn't that bad. Bleach will kill the germs. You can do it.
 
 I can guarantee that as awful as it is to clean that mess, IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE. Life begins when you wipe that mess that you want to avoid. Life begins when you look into that mirror at your face and instead of ignoring it, enhance it. Don't tell yourself that because your unlovely undone, you aren't pretty enough.. I'll tell you a secret.. we are ALL unlovely undone. EVERY ONE OF US. The only difference between you and them is that they decided it was worth it to groom. Just like they decided it was worth it to clean, or decorate. Life is full of treasures.. they all require maintenance. There is no home that is lovely without tending.. no woman that is beautiful without grooming and no meal that is delightful without toil.  And even though the effort seems to be immense.. the effort is nothing compared to the misery of neglect.
You can't avoid your problems. They are there and they aren't going away. The cure is to face them head on. It is to go to the biggest mess you have and face it. It may be calling that collector you fear. It may be facing the person who is hurting you. It may be cleaning a mess you are terrified of. It may be altering your schedule. But if you are reading this, there is something in your life that needs a tidying. Face it.
 
 Go right to the mess and face it. If it is weight, face it. Look in the mirror, be honest.. and face it. If it is your meals.. look at your fridge.. clean it and face it. If it is your dishes, put on gloves, get out bleach and face it. Same with bathrooms. If I can clean the worst of bathrooms, so can you. Ammonia is lovely... as is bleach. Face it. It will be hard at first but each day you will get stronger. Each time you clean a mess, you will have more courage to face the next. Face them. and like a lady, raise your head and stay strong. You don't' have to be a man. You can be delicate. In fact it is advisable to be delicate but you can be strong. If you have a harsh tone. If what you see when you walk isn't pretty.. face it. Just face it. You can overcome. You CAN. I promise you.. and I will help you.
If life knocks you down, stand back up.
 
My fiancé has begun to mend and feel better but during that time he has been emotionally very distant. It has been hard. I have failed in so many ways. There have been moments that I just sat there for hours watching him sleep. crying. and I do believe that is okay. It is times of trial that remind you of why you are there. When skeletons of the past surface, they often help you to remember why you chose the path you're on. Often the struggles in your marriage are due to your management of the home. Yes, it offends but we know it's true. And honestly, can we blame them? Our men? for longing for meals and a cozy home? Yes, they love us. But can't they crave us too? Can't they long for a lovely home and a soft gentle woman. And don't you secretly long to be that in spite of your fight?
 French former actress, singer and fashion model, Brigitte Bardot was ...
I once heard it said that a woman should be free to take on any endeavor she delights in.. so long as it doesn't disrupt her home. I believe that our role as women, first and foremost is our home. It is our family. We mustn't take on any form of schedule that prevents us from being able to tend to anyone in our family as they need us. I have found that when I work 40 hours, everything falls apart. Everything. I find myself buying precooked meals, tired, emotional, ill groomed and my home falls apart around me. We have such a vital role. It is so important. I do believe that yes, every woman is capable of working in a man's world. I also believe that she'll never be happy there.... because her heart.. is at home. At home.. where being feminine is a good thing.. not something that business men use as a reason to look down on you. At home.. were you can be lovely and frolic without the competitive games of men. At home.. where there is peace and serenity. where you truly find your peace....home.
Female models wanted for online vintage 1950's fashion boutique ...
 
You will never truly be happy dears, if you give other things in your life so much priority that you find you have to neglect the ones you love. We have become too good and giving up our needs to tend to everyone else's. We have let ourselves go, our homes go, our meals go, our peace go and I don't believe that we've made any life better for doing so.  If you find that you can't be there for a child or a spouse.. If you find that you have to pay another to clean your home or cook your meals. If you are so tired at the end of the day that you are no longer even pleasant in company and if your legs are anything less than smooth.. you are taking on the wrong priorities.
Model in corduroy motoring suit by Bedford, by Norman Parkinson, 1955
It may take an adjustment in lifestyle. It may take a career change.. to something that allows you to devote to your home. But I do believe that you will never find happiness or a happy marriage until you are able to be home and love your spouse and family as you were created to. It is good to have time to groom each morning.. in fact your romance depends on it.
... fashion, vintage, glamour, hair, idola, hollywood, icon, Marilyn
 If you neglect your appearance, your romance will fall apart.. it will affect your home.. it will affect your emotions.. it will affect everything. If you allow other things to take priority in your life, you home will fall apart, you children will become unmanageable, your meals will be lacking in nutrients. Your family will become sicker. and your home will not be a haven. Was the woman of the 50's a superwoman.. no... she just had her priorities straight. She took the time to groom each day. She made her home a place that was welcoming. She loved her family and her husband dearly. So much she devoted her life to them.. and I do believe she was far happier.
French former actress, singer and fashion model, Brigitte Bardot was ...
I do not believe that the workplace has liberated us. I believe it has exhausted us. It has made us too tired to groom, too tired to cook, too tired to love. We are grouchy, irritable, sick, sad, and miserable. We have jobs, yes, but most of us don't like them much and even those of us who have great corporate positions find that working with he insults or advances of men proves challenging and unsatisfying. We long to be home and with good reason.. it was meant to be our haven all along.
Jean Harlow (1911 - 1937) in "Dinner at Eight"
 If it is absolutely necessary, there ARE jobs that allow you to be home. If you feel called, find one. Our society has fallen apart. If marriage stayed in tact, there wouldn't be child support. There wouldn't be single mothers. There wouldn't be a shortage of jobs as there wouldn't be so many trying to fill jobs. Children would have mothers. School shootings would be far less likely. When mothers were home, we didn't lock doors. I have been asked so often if I am challenged by women. and honestly, I have NOT. I have seen so many women tired, sad and drained. We are the result of a prior generation. One that decided that our role in the workplace would benefit us.. but it hasn't. Our homes have fallen apart. Liberation in love has left us with no men who are faithful.. with no men who want to care for us. With no men who even watch their language around us. Life has changed. We feel used, tired and neglected. We long to reclaim our feminine role. We long to be feminine again. And I do believe that together, we can.  The day that we decide that we are worth more.. that we begin to respect ourselves again and not overwork ourselves.. the day we adore our femininity.. that is the day, dear loves that men will once again hold doors..
1950s Mens Fashion
that is the day, dear loves that men will give their live to love and hold you. That is the day.. when homes will once again.. be lovely.
Divorce was not a common thing. Why? Societal pressure for one thing ...
 
Much love,
Veronique
1950's Housewife
 

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