Thursday, January 30, 2014

An Inner Peace

I went through a time the last few months were I wasn't true to my heart. We all face such times. It may be after loss. It may be after change. It could result from heartache. Something falls apart and we run. We can't bear the change and we run. I do believe that such times are such a healing in our lives. It is at such moments that we discover who we truly are. If the change is right, we feel peace. If the change is wrong, we feel nothing but heartache.

I have had people come to me and say.. well are you truly the perfect housewife? And do you know what I say to them? I found a peace in housework and in making a home for my family that revels every luxury this life has to offer. And I could have you ask that very family and they would agree. Our world doesn't cater to it anymore. I was a lucky individual. I was for a time out on the outskirts... away from the world. I was away from society. I was away from pressure. I was away. We found, in our play, a primitive way of doing things and we were amazed. I had a few classic books and as I read them, I was enchanted. They talked of life in the old days.. before modern luxuries like the internet. During a time when marriage was respected. During a time where having a lovely family and home cooked meals was common. I had the luxury of not having to earn any other income at the time. So I delved into it with everything in me and I was in LOVE. I have had many positions. I have even had a touch of fame. Nothing compares to the way it felt to make my home. There was such an amazing peace to it. I delighted in it.

I am back now, in society a bit. Oddly, I am struggling to write to you all. Not because I believe any less in it... but because I am struggling to maintain the atmosphere that was so simple out in the outskirts. TV, the internet, so many modern conveniences have truly ruined it. People have lovingly offered me meals and urged me to buy premade. People have pushed me to pursue dreams and professions that have truly not satisfied. I have found myself spending my time doing things that don't involve homemaking. I have felt, quite honestly, pulled a million and one directions and my heart is mourning. I miss keeping my home. I miss the delight of doing it each day and gleefully coming to share it with you.
I miss making home made bread and the smell of it and the delight of that first bite hot with butter.
I miss the exercise of keeping house.
I miss the atmosphere.

I haven't been with my 'family' this month. I've been staying at a relatives. I haven't been home much at all. I apologize as I know you all miss me. I miss you too.
I miss keeping my home.
and I want you to experience that amazing peace that I found.
There are a million and one draws in this life for women. I see most are not good for the woman at all.
I see women investing hours into a profession coming home tired, with ill health, eating takeout and living in a world where men honestly don't treat them right. Where they try so hard to work and earn and show their abilities but they are only scorned as being harsh and too masculine in their ambition.
I see other women who cling to their feminine side also trying to make it in the world. They are usually sexualized, talked to like a 'kitten', treated as if they are delicate but always... always there is a sexual note to their work and it is uncomfortable and that woman feels no peace.

I see women who are at home but it is because their husband wants them there. That husband may not be kind to them. They may be bitter. They sit in the house all day wondering if there is something else.. is there a man out there who would treasure them? And they sit and they cry and they let the days pass by wondering.. what day is it anyways?
But there is more. So much more.

There is a family environment that works. I can tell you that when I indulge in my feminine tendencies and really embrace it, men go crazy for me. Men tell you that they want multiple women. They claim that it's man's nature. But I have found that when I let my domestic side show, they fall hopelessly in love with me. I often get worn out by the number of men that contact me telling me I'm everything they crave. We have been lied to ladies. Men do crave a woman.

They want to be loved by one who enchants them. When you start to show the traits that our society has rejected, you will find peace. You will feel lovely. You will be happy and oddly, your man will fall in love.
It just works.

When you quit feeling as if you have to be strong or have to compete. When you quit feeling like you have to reject femininity. When you let yourself feel fragile - because you are... when you let yourself look to a man for strength.. don't fear it. Look at him. Look to him for help. Look to him to embrace and shelter you. Even if it doesn't seem that he could or would want to.. see him as a man. See him as the strong man who will care for you. Love him. When you start to see a man as strong... he will become strong for you. When you start to see him as your hero... he will protect you. When you start to look up to a man and truly adore him, he wants to love you like you would never believe. You will become the most important thing in his life. He will literally start to live for your affections and vice versa. Don't be afraid to adore him.. when you find him. It is when you adore him, that he becomes everything you long for.

Then let yourself be what you truly are. Dress in a feminine way. Be soft. Let him be strong. Let him take care of you. Take on the jobs that cause you so much less stress. Quit trying to be a man and be a woman. What would you think if men suddenly decided they didn't want to be men anymore? and they started competing with you for feminine tasks? If men were suddenly lacking and all that existed were feminine men? That is what we have done to them. We have abandoned our lives as women and now there are only men. And men are losing their attraction to us. And we are all hungry. And we all crave a loving home. And we are all sad.

But the few who have found it... are happy.
Find it.
Find your femininity. Find your home atmosphere... the one that is enchanting and delights you. Clip pictures from magazines of homes and gardens that you love. The next time that you are in a lovely bed and breakfast, make note of what enchants you in the atmosphere. When you are in a lovely restaurant, make note of the lighting and the music and recreate it in your home at your table.
Make note of the bedrooms in suites at luxury resorts... what can you do in your home to make it similar?

When you dine, what do you love? The fresh baked bread? What foods do you adore? Find the recipes. I have found a recipe for just about everything I can find at a dinning establishment and do you know what? At home, it tastes better. Cooking comes with time. At first, it will a bit sloppy. But keep doing it. It's not something that requires skill so much as repetition. So resolve to cook daily for a time. When you mess up. It's okay. Just cook again. Practice again. Watch instructional videos. Watch Chopped. Watch the food network, read old cookbooks. The recipes in the older cookbooks are better. So much better. If it has you use premade biscuits, I say, find a biscuit dough recipe instead. It will taste better. Homemade mashed potatoes... taste better. Homemade just tastes better and do you know what? It doesn't' take much more time. It really doesn't. Not once you get used to it. And it tastes so much better.

 So many of our figure flaws are due to processed foods. I am not entirely sure why our government has loaded our foods with chemicals.. but they have. Chemicals that make you crave more.. which does help them to market but it's dreadful. Chemicals that keep you from feeling full causing you to eat far more than you should. And when you cook fresh, you can eat so much more and feel so much more full and weigh so much less. Avoid the chemicals. If you can find time, avoid them.

I do believe that if we begin to embrace the past, we can return to it. We don't' have to be trashy. We don't have to be old women with messy homes and no atmosphere. We don't' have to spend our lives chasing men and looking dreadful in old age. We can find a man that falls deeply in love with us. We can create a home that enchants. We can grow more lovely with age. And we can return taste to a society that is falling apart at the seams.

Baby steps. We can get there... with baby steps. To my students, the blogs will begin again this week. Thank you for your patience as I have gone through so many life changes.
I will return. The blogs will return.
Much love,

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

And She Was Lovely

I have an uncontrollable urge to bake today. I have been thinking today about our society and how we've rebelled against every single thing that brings us joy... truly... do you really hate wearing rhinestones and lovely dresses? truly?

I didn't think so. Why pretend that what we truly want is to throw on masculine pants and barely touch our faces with makeup? Why pretend that this doesn't bother us deep down?

and how many of us truly hate baking cookies?

But do it in a way that delights you. Being a lovely housewife isn't about being cheap or tainted. It's not about posing to please men. It is about finding YOUR true joy. Wear the lovely dresses that make you feel pretty. Delight in baking with candles lit and lovely music on. Find your smile. Being sultry is never it. Be feminine not cheap. lovely not easy. Let the little girl in you be a princess. Decorate your home. Love yourself. Men will start desiring what is pure when we start offering it.
Be a lady.

Embrace your femininity.. it is there that you will find yourself and the more true to yourself that you are, the more attractive you become.

It's okay if you don't get it right at first. It's a process of becoming. As you become true to yourself... you will shine through and then, you will be lovely.
Ugliness is often being what you are not.  You end up unhappy and your frown becomes contagious. But a truly happy girl is rarely ugly. Find yourself. Find your peace.  Let your smile radiate.
A genuine smile will be soft and gentle. A genuine smile will feel peace within. A genuine smile will not reflect hatred, envy, spite or jealousy. Be genuine. Be true to who you are. Love.
and you will always be lovely.

The greatest beauty secret of all is to love. To realize that life isn't about you alone. It's about all of us. When you need love and someone reaches out to you, how wonderful it feels. Be that comfort to another and you will feel truly lovely and truly feminine. Be the peace the world is hungry for. Be the gentle ray of sun in the storm. Be the tender lovely female in a world of hate.
Find that peace and bathe in it.

We were created to be female. We were created in a way that fascinates men. Embrace your femininity. Shine. Delight in your natural desires. You don't have to be manly. You don't' have to be tough. You don't have to pursue male dreams. You can love your home. You can love makeup. You can decorate. You can even fall in love and feel helpless sometimes. God's design isn't wrong. It's lovely.
embrace it.

Honestly, at first, it will feel uncomfortable. Being feminine when you may have rejected it for a while may be embarrassing.  You may be afraid but you will be happy. Pick out the dress you love. Don't fear it. You can be lovely. You don't have to conform. Be you.
And raise your price tag.

True femininity isn't about getting the most hollars it's about being true to the lovely female you are inside. The one that wants a man to fall in love with her. The one that wants to be cherished. Don't give in to the world. Don't let it steal your joy. You are worth so much more. Like a lily in the field, you were made to bloom. You are fragrant. You are lovely. You are delicate. Don't give it away for free.

Be the treasure you truly are.
Embrace it. You are lovely.


Much love always, ~V

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

And We Shall Miss You Always

When I think over this last year... my mind feels so much pain.
I lost a dear uncle. I lost a home. I lost several animals. I went through a lot.
There were days, honestly, I didn't think I'd make it through.

But there were nights under the stars... there was love... there were dreams.

I started a new blog. I helped those in need. I learned about myself and I got to experience the wisdom that comes with age.

Life is in a state of constant flux. Before you know it, it has passed again. New things arriving, old things fading.

Somehow in the midst of it all, you have to find your mark. Imprint those memories. Love those moments. Savor every flavor.
As you go to sleep at night, reflect on your day. Cherish your loves and be grateful. The very things you love today may not exist tomorrow.

At any moment, war could strike, natural disasters can cave in, time as you know it, could end.
But there are those moments when life ignites. When you feel amazing. When love reigns.

I look at life and everything I've known and the greatest moments are always when I notice
that God is there.... when I see his sunset, when a flower blooms, when new birth arrives, when love that makes no sense exists in the midst of war.

There are miracles around your very day.
Don't' waste your life away planning for tomorrow.
Don't be so focused on what you want to achieve that you miss the joy of where you are now.
When life takes away, there is so much regret.
Yet, when life is there, we never have time for it.

I have seen deaths that made us all want to remember
but how much did we note when they were there.
We have a few greats approaching death now... are we calling them?
There is an older woman in your church or down the street, are you
talking to her?
That tree is in bloom, are you harvesting?
I want to suggest as you approach this year, that maybe you don't look at it in terms of prosperity.
I don't want you to think of what you will do tomorrow.
I want you to forget all of that.
I want you to think of right now.
Be completely where you are now.
Because tomorrow, now will be gone.
Instead of focusing on the weight you will be.
Enjoy the weight you are. There is a beauty, if you look deeper.
Instead of focusing on the love you will have.
Love what is there around you.
Instead of imagining a great job you desire.
Learn to work and love where you are.
Look at your kids and cherish their soft cheeks.
Photograph their bright eyes.
Hold them a little longer.
Take an extra bite of that cake.
Make time for the sunset.
Watch a shooting star.
Fluff your pillow
Soften that kiss and linger.
Now is what matters dear loves. Now.
Everything wonderful that life will create
happens NOW.
God bless you.