Thursday, October 31, 2013

Another Lesson Sneak Peak

With our system failures, I'm afraid I've been so busy that keeping up with my students as well as blogging on this blog has been a struggle. It is all beginning to come together so I am excited to say that I should be blogging on schedule asap.

Enjoy this sneak peak of a housewife course lesson for a treat today on me ;)

Now that we should have 'making' a good impression down, let's consider what it takes to make a lasting impression for charm.
Unfortunately life doesn't consist of only meeting, impressing and parting. We live with people long after our first meeting and our fascinating tendencies can be known to become less fascinating over time. I have so many in this course frustrated with just that problem. They tend to avoid those who 'do' know them always in search of someone who might find them fascinating.
The famous after dinner speaker or well known celebrity has an advantage over the rest of us. The only time we see them is in their dazzling display of charm. For the rest of us, first impressions are only steps. Becoming a great hostess involves learning to dazzle not just once, but many times. It takes learning to build friendships that wear well. It takes getting people to like us day after day, feel comfortable with us, feel important and satisfied after being with us.
This is a challenge for many. How on earth is this accomplished?
The externals of appearance are the smooth pavement that lead the way to our more durable work. Being liked has nothing to do with intelligence or education. We know many intelligent women who have a knack for saying the worst thing at the worst time. Many times these women have high marks in school but failing scores in popularity. Looking deeply, what caused this person to be so disliked?
It is usually not brains but something our society lacks today..... 'good old fashioned kindness and an active imagination.'
Honest opinion is neither necessary or kind. Consider the one who says, "I feel you ought to know.."  This is often the cruelest phrase in the English Language. It often introduces information the recipient should NOT know and will experience pain and sadness as a result 'of' hearing. If you are fond of disclosing such truths, it should be no surprise when recipients decide not be around after a while.
How are you with others? Do you expect others to be tough as you strike their hearts with painful words? Do you get so caught up in your agenda that you forget to consider how others feel? Do you put down or look down on the "empty headed" woman who has all of the friends you long for?
Or are you an over timid woman who worries that she lacks social skills or IQ and thus fears social competition?
Before you go off feeling inferior intellectually....
Consider Suzy: She, by intelligence standards was not the brightest gal you could meet. Some may call her quite 'un' intelligent. Yet, she was captain of one team, manager of another, and one of the few winners of 'best all around girl.' There wasn't a boy or girl on campus who didn't like her. She was an addition. Her academics...not really much to speak of.
She had what people liked: she was considerate, loyal, sweet and sympathetic. She had the brains to remember to help mend a roommate's slip. She would dance with the poorest dancer in school and make them feel amazing. She had just the right words for the self-conscious girl and the ability to make her beam with happiness. She is no longer a 'Miss' at all. She is now a wife, mother and known by all for her gracious home, lovely children and tremendous charm. Her talent is applied kindness and it can be easily learned.
So often we have our eyes focused on ourselves. We worry if our hair looks right. We wonder if others like 'us.' We worry about finding someone to help us, or let us through or smile at us. In the process are we thinking of doing the same for them? Are we noticing the hair of the girl who is wondering the same? Are we letting others know that yes we do like them? Are we helping others when we see their need? Are we smiling at 'them?' Is our smile sincere?
A Time For Thank Yous
There is rarely an hour that passes when someone isn't doing something for you. The grocery boy? The Mailman? The people you may forget to be grateful for- those you work and live with.
Do you stop to notice the work they do to make you comfortable?
The woman with tired feet helping you through a checkout with a long line and no break?
The call center rep who is working long hard hours answering phones and helping you? The receptionist at the office you frequent? The neighbor you see outside as you pass by? Your waitress or waiter - especially if they are new or struggling? Your husband as he waits on you kindly?
What is your attitude towards them? Are they simply scenery, something you paid for and needn't be aware of? Your attitude towards those who serve you reflects your attitude towards everyone else. I once dated a man who was quite cold to a waitress. He talked down to her, looked at her with disdain and thought only about what 'he' needed. As charming as he was that night to me, I did see this very side of him not long after. It was who he was 'behind the mask.'
True charm springs form warmth, not etiquette.
"Thank you" is a way to recognize the need we all have for each other and the appreciation for those who are giving to us. Recognize that we all live with the help of God and 'each other.' When you see this, there will be a new note in your thank you. It will not longer be just a phrase. It will begin to be reflected in every single contact.
Be sincere. False gratitude hurts even more than no gratitude.  The important thing is your awareness of those who have helped you, in however small a measure. Put yourself in their shoes. How would you like to be treated? What would your struggles be? What would YOU be like to work with?
Do you use your thank yous to draw attention to yourself or do you pay attention to them? Learn to be truly grateful. Learn to look at them.
Be grateful to others and they will be more grateful to you. We are not alone. We are all going through our own struggles The best thing on earth would be us helping each other to get through.
Start to notice not only your own perspective but those around you. As you're feeling self conscious, notice the others that are as well. Seek to make others more comfortable. Seek to put others at ease.
I wish you love, health and many blessings.
Have a lovely day.
Much love always,


  1. Nice site...I have been longing for someone that has my same philosophy.

  2. Thank you so much for taking the time to comment!! Yes, there are many of us out there. Of that I am certain ;) Much love!


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