Monday, September 23, 2013

Doing What is Best Whatever The Cost?

We recently worked for quite a time helping an
older gentleman sell off his cattle.

He is literally dying. He is in complete
denial. In the time we befriended him, we watched
his cattle get fed less and less. To the point
literally that we were truly concerned.
There was a day that the cattle looked so bad
we panicked. We called a friend to see what
we could do.

We had to watch a he was warned by the
humane society and, in denial, kept trying
to desperately prove he could feed his cattle.
We saw him struggle to drive to them
day after day with eyes blacked from chemo, stumbling
as he walked... cursing as he stumbled.
He kept continuing to talk about what he was
going to build next year or work on
the year after. As if somehow the idea
of death was completely not obvious to him.

I can understand in a way how denial may make
the idea of death less painful but at some
point we hoped he'd think of his wife and what
he was leaving behind. He didn't.
He borrowed $15,000 from her to feed cattle,
to buy trucks...to continue his denial.
She is an 82 year old woman. That was her savings.
Savings she wanted to use to go overseas on
a trip.
Her love for her husband must have been more.
We took his verbal abuse and denial day after
day determined to help him see that it was best.
Finally one day... the week before the humane
society was to come in, he realized he needed
to sell his cattle.
Finally.

We called a man who had made an offer, completed
the arduous task of capturing a very tempremental
stear, worked ALL day long, tired as could be
to get them transported and at the end of the day,
he was mad at us. We had handled the transaction wrong.
He was angry.
I guess we should have known he wouldn't be happy.
He had never wanted to sell the cattle.
I guess in our hearts we knew he'd be angry after.
We were so caught up in knowing it was best for him,
that we weren't prepared.
Disciplining children can be so similar.
Are you willing to do the best for those you love
even if they don't like you after?
I have been faced with that decision far too
many times but I can say with certainty that
yes. It is worth it.

I loved that man too much to see him get
into legal trouble or have to learn the hard
way that he was feeding his cattle poorly when
they fell to the ground and died.
He was in denial of his abilities but I believe
that is why we were there.
We could see the path he was headed down and
we were the ONLY ones in a position to help him.
He is angry at us for the time. But I hope
deep within he knows it was best. My heart believes
that he would have been far angrier had we let
him get into trouble.
What situations do you see your kids or those you love
in that are going to end up hurting them in the end.
What are you able to do to help them?
Are you willing to have them angry with you
to do so?

Sometimes doing what is best for those we love means
losing their affections for a time.
But in our heart, could we have lived with
ourselves if we hadn't?
I believe there is a reason God made us the center
of our thriving homes. Our hearts care. That
concern is the best thing in the world for those
we watch.
Be that loving mother/wife etc today.
Use your heart to do what you know is right.

Much love,
Veronique

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