Sunday, June 2, 2013

The Secret Trick to Intimacy

I am sure many of you are reading this and skeptical. Some of the things I talk about you may agree with, others you may let slide. Don't.

I was reminded today of exactly why I am so passionate about this. There was a time my dear love was distant....almost cold in fact. I didn't understand why. He literally went from loving and attentive to distant, distracted, cold. If I talked, it was as if he tuned me out. When we ate, he jumped right up from the table and left to be alone. Many nights, we even slept apart. I didn't understand why but I grew bitter.

I spent less time cooking... what was the point, I was so lonely. I spent hours reading how to get his attraction. Some days I'd spend so much time grooming or shopping for new clothes that the house lay untouched.
I would start to clean and feel a sense of sadness.... why clean. It was too lonely. I had no one to clean for. I just wanted to lay down and cry.

I would get up but not groom what was the point. He wouldn't notice. More time was spent sad and gloomy. I did nothing a lot of days but read of other girls struggling and feel hopeless.

I finally decided to cook and clean because it was best for me. I had all but given up asking him what was wrong, he would just snap at me that nothing was wrong and I'd end up in tears.

When I got up one day, groomed my prettiest, put on shimmery lotion with perfume scent, did my makeup and nails.. he looked at me curiously but didn't pay much notice. Then I went to the store. I planned my grocery list. I selected items that were the best deal. I made sure I didn't over spend for convenience. I promised myself I was going to watch costs and not buy premade meals that only seemed to blow my budget. I came home and started doing housework. I made him a lovely meal and it happened.

He started looking at me like I was beautiful. He started noticing how I looked. He started smelling me. He said he was tired and wanted to nap and wouldn't quit holding me....the way I had begged him to for years.

Something about seeing that I was truly serious about getting the house and meals in shape, keeping home and grooming....while watching the budget works. I can't say why but it does. Leaving any of those elements out will cause distance and coldness in your man.

Master grooming,
Master meal planning and prep and budgeting
Master housekeeping

The combination will bring out passions in your man that you thought would never return.

The lack of any of those areas will stir up resentment and discontent in him and also depress you.
You will be your happiest when you do the above. It will make your day. Any of those areas off kilter make you feel sloppy and bad about yourself as well. Don't. It's important. Set time for it and don't give yourself the option not to. Make it enjoyable. Put on your favorite music. I like to paint my nails in the sun on a blanket in the summer. Make it peaceful and relaxing. Don't just make plain meals. Enjoy the food you make yourself. It will make it more enjoyable for you too.

Much love and well wishes.

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